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“Imagine shitting something out and then it steals from you?”
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I went to see John Mulaney do standup the other night. He talks regularly about not having kids. I can’t stop laughing at this bit he did. He was saying that as a young child, he regularly stole 5s and 10s out of his mom’s wallet to go buy baseball cards. Then he said “imagine shitting something out just for it to steal from you?”

I was straight crying.

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5 years ago