Somebody asked me today why I decided not to have kids. Money, time, energy, etc are always the first ones that come to my mind. However, I was thinking deeply about it today. I realized, that the biggest issue I have with children is that they take away my inner peace.

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There's a certain level of existential bliss I get from silence. I've spent the majority of my life in quiet atmospheres, and there is no place I would rather be than a quiet grove or near a natural sound like an ocean or a river. When I'm around children, I'm not able to feel that peace. The constant fear of the random scream, the shattering belonging, or the thump from hearing a kid fall down. I realize now, that there is nothing I value more than peace. I guess since I've never struggled finding purpose or happiness it made it easier to consider the decision of children thoughtfully.

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Having kids won't give me "meaning" or "joy" or "peace." In fact, they take all of those things away from me. There is so much beauty in this world, and I think having children can truly take away from the experiences we have in our lifetimes. Meditation with Buddhist monks, a cruise through the pacific, a midnight kiss in front of the Eiffel tower... these things are what bring me hope and peace, and I will not risk having life changing experiences ruined by the cry of an infant.