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Just curious. I'm feeling extra salty today as I navigate the absurdities of dating in America as a 45 year old man who is committed to a child free lifestyle (vasectomy a year ago).
I was with my ex for almost 10 years, 7 dating/engaged and 3 married.
After getting married, post a serious health scare, she changed her mind about wanting kids and essentially demanded to be a stay at home mom. There had always been other issues, but this one was insurmountable.
It's pretty difficult to not be bitter at times, and while I still dabble in the dating apps, post on Reddit, and occasionally do in person speed dating, I'm putting probably 70 - 80% of my energy towards just living my life and assuming I just won't ever find someone I'm physically, emotionally, and mentally attracted to that also has no children and doesn't want children.
I suppose I'm getting to the age where I can start to find women with 'adult' children, and not young kids. But that's a compromise I think wilk just have me dieing alone, as is the current plan, lol.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
Edit: So, seems overwhelmingly women responding regarding men changing their minds. I'd like to apologize on behalf of my gender.
Also, I would never seriously consider dating a woman even with adult children, unless it was something we both agreed was super casual. For all the reasons folks have posted cautionary tales, there's no chance I would get into what I intended to be a long term committed relationship with a woman with children of any age.
Well that's an awful rollercoaster, and sounds like he's very similar to a certain amusement park noted for also have 6 red flags!
I'm definitely at the point where it's be single over compromising. I'm right there with you.
I'm glad things have worked out for you overall. I hope your ex is a better partner to her baby daddy than she was to you. Craziness.
Oh, I mean, it wasn't all awful. But it mostly was, haha. So no worries, I totally agree.
For sure she got the most benefit out of it, and potentially would have been in a very bad place with her medical issues if she wasn't living with me at the time they were going on. So I suppose I can feel 'good' for having been in her life during that time, but it was almost all at the expense of my own happiness.
Why do I think my ex changed her mind? I generally wouldn't think anyone would change their mind quickly about something like having children. Which is why I just asked about other folks whose partners had also changed their minds.
In my specific instance, as my ex explained to me, she reevaluated her decision to be childfree while she is we sick but didn't express it to me until well over a year later after we'd decided to get married (we were on a path to breaking up before she got sick).
That's certainly a good way to go, but seems like you'd need to hire a headhunter firm to find candidates, haha.
Have you been able to meet many people in the wild who you know to be sterilized? Even the CF4CF subreddit is incredibly slim pickings.
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- 2 months ago
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Mind boggling, sorry you had that experience as well.