The amount of complaints about not enough real women posting and how nearly all F4M posts are fake has been on the rise. But you know what hasn’t been on the rise?

The use of the report button.

For this to be a nearly 60,000 person community and for the Mod team to not get a singular report per day is mind-boggling - especially considering the time you all take to make posts or message us your complaints. Moderators are volunteers who rely on the greater community to help us catch problems and act on them - we’re not active 24/7 but try to act on reports made as quick as possible.

With that said. The community as a whole is a reflection of what gets posted and how its users engage with the community. When 9 out of 10 posts are M4F posters looking for NSA, discrete, borderline dangerous kinky sex, with much younger women, stating you’re blatantly looking to cheat, and laden with super specific requirements and self-loathing, and then offering nothing of substance - what is the expectation for who this sub attracts? When I hear from F4M posters that they receive hundreds of low effort messages that are some version of shady/entitled/selfish/scary/off-putting - what can a moderator do to encourage them to post again?

When folks don’t use the report button, put their desperation at the forefront, consistently fall for blackmail despite the numerous times we’ve tried to educate you on it, respond to women posters with nothing of value or attraction - no level of moderation or mitigation can help you. We are not here to police HOW you post or engage with the community, but we also cannot control the consequences of that.

Creating the kind of community that we all want is a group effort.

In conclusion:

• USE THE REPORT BUTTON WHEN YOU COME ACROSS SPAMMERS.
• Foster the kind of community you want to be a part of.
• Be respectful and err on the side of kindness when interacting with other members.
• Call out and report folks who’s posts and behaviors create a toxic/low-quality community.

Thank you for your help in making this a good place to meet like-minded Chicagoans.