I’m a smart, sexy, extremely kinky, creatively cruel, surprisingly kind, self-aware, unexpectedly witty and seriously over-sexed dominant male. I want to find a smart, nasty, eager and all around complimentary submissive girl an for FWB relationship that takes the “friends” part of that as seriously as it does the benefits; if that ends up becoming an LTR then all the better. I have wide ranging kinks, but more than anything I get off on a mix of emotional and physical sadism, serious mindfuck, and seriously rough sex alternated with genuinely affectionate and mutually empathetic aftercare. As either an inducement or a fair warning: I’ve been unable to get my needs met for a couple of years now, so I have a great deal of pent up frustrations and ideas for someone to benefit from, suffer through or ideally to benefit from suffering through. The following turned out long, but it tells you most of what you need to know about me as a dom and what I’m looking for.

I love bondage, blindfolds and gags, in various combinations; I love the fear and lust and shame and need and gratitude that wash across your face as I work you over with a flogger or a crop. I love the look of mixed relief and trepidation in your eyes when – at just the moment tears start to form - I stand you up. With one hand holding your wrists behind your back, the other wrapped oh-so-gently around your throat, and I pull you close and whisper “Good Girl” into your ear and can feel that slight release of tension and hear the pride in your voice as you say “Thank you, Sir.”

That hand around your throat is part reminder, part promise: for however long we are in this shared (head)space -an hour, an afternoon, a week - I own you. Not because I won’t let go if you ask, but because you can’t imagine asking, or wanting to. Because even more than I enjoy the physical piece, I delight in the mental part. I love -and excel at - getting so deep inside your head that I don’t need to touch you to keep you bound. A word, a whisper, a gesture, and your eyes are closed, your mouth is clamped shut, and your is held body exactly where I demand, held fast by my hold over your imagination. More than anything my kink is about this: I want to find out what makes you tick, what turns you on and what makes you ashamed and insecure and proud and all the rest and I want to use that knowledge to make you my perfect plaything. To mix mind fuck and force, reward and punishment and all the other tools at my disposal and use both to leave you so unbearably aroused that you can’t tell up from down. I'll degrading you, and have you degrade myself for my pleasure. I'll use you, remind you what a nasty little girl we both know you are, a filthy slut who’d do anything just for the chance to get her one of her dirty, desperate aching holes used, and then reward you for being a good whore. Worming my way inside your head until you can't imagine a greater privilege than being given a chance to suffer for my pleasure, or anything more obviously correct than being punished for failing to be as nasty, as depraved, as eager as I require.

And after I’m done, after I’ve used you, after I've broken you down, fucked your holes so hard that you aren’t sure you can still feel your legs, after I’ve held you on the edge of orgasm so long you started to suspect that I was never going to let you have one and you realized you were okay with that, when I do, finally, let you cum for me, and around me, turning even that into one more part of you that is meant for my pleasure? After that I want this:

I want to sit or lay on whatever piece of furniture we were most recently using, and feel your body against mine, and chat. I want to get to know you better and be a bit more known in turn. I want to caress you -no more diffident and every bit as possessive as I was fifteen minutes prior when I was using as a sex toy, but so much more gently. Because I love that after space, too. The one where what is next is undetermined and we are both in that intimate, liminal space, that comes after -and only after - intense kink. The one where our lusts and needs and kinks are satisfied but still present and where it is impossible not to feel tremendous affection for the person with whom you achieved that. I love that space, love it almost as much as the sex that is how we got there; in some ways, I love it more. So we sit there, our roles still ever bit as present as before but serving different ends and we touch, and wait to see what comes next. Maybe I’ll decide to use you again and start pushing you back into subspace (or you’ll decide you need to get used again, and start teasing me, bringing out the inverse in me). Maybe we’ll compare favorite authors or restaurants or movies. Maybe we’ll make out for a bit, or maybe we’ll get dressed and go out for drinks.

If you got this far, I have to believe that you are somewhere between intrigued and soaking wet. In either case, and if you're looking for something in-person, you should send me a PM and we should see where it takes us.

As far as details I'm willing to post publicly: I’m in my forties, in the city of Chicago, white, both well-educated and well read. While I’m neither in as good of shape as I was at 25 nor likely to show up in People magazine, I look pretty good. Beyond that, I take my whiskey neat, like the occasional cigarette (because life is short and I enjoy it) but won’t let myself smoke more than a pack a month (because life doesn’t need to be any shorter). I’m 420 friendly and would prefer the same, but it isn’t a requirement. I’d like someone my age-ish or younger, female, feminine, experienced enough (or self-aware enough) to know what she wants and able to articulate what she doesn't. Whoever she is, she should be interested in meeting in person sooner rather than later; I respect the need for safety (and hope you respect mine) but I'm too old want to spend three months exchanging emails before meeting for coffee. While I’d prefer something on going -always assuming we both enjoy ourselves -, if you are just visiting certainly don’t let that stop you.