Warning that this post talks about sexual assault.

I (29M) caught my wife (28F) cheating. We had been having arguments and not getting along as well as we once did for a few months. One day I was using her laptop (with her permission) and found texts between her and another man regarding meeting up and sexual content. I confronted her about is and she admitted she had been seeing him for about 8 months but said it had been on and off. I told her I wanted a divorce. And moved out.

Over the next month we had been slowly starting to talk and she asked to meet which I agreed to. While there she told me that the guy she had been seeing r*ped her at a house hang out she had been at. She said she didn’t understand it but she continued to see him after that. Now, I’m completely conflicted. It’s been a couple of months and we’ve been going to therapy. Her parents and her are also going to therapy because they were basically angry at her and on my side.

When I first heard this I was completely understanding and wanted to forgive her because I immediately believed her. But the longer it’s been, the more hesitant I am. And the more I talk to my close friends and family about it… the more suspicious I get. Basically, most people think she may be lying to get the marriage back because it went on for so long on and off. She also was unwilling to file a police report when I asked because she said she didn’t want to involve him anymore in her life and she just wanted to never see him again.

I’m very confused and I love her. We’ve been married for four years, but I can’t be with someone who lies about something so awful in order to get the marriage back. Now I just don’t know if I can actually believe her.

I’m hoping to get some perspective since I love her and I don’t want my judgement to be tainted.