I've always been the type of woman that would advise other women to dump their boyfriends immediately if they cheated—no matter how sorry they are. But, I never thought it would really be this difficult.

We've been together for a year now and he cheated 4 months ago. The morning of the night he cheated, he immediately told me what happened and what he did. He was sorry for what he did and then, he was sorry to the girl he cheated with (he was really drunk and assaulted her) and to me.

We were good friends before we started dating. I know his good and bad sides, even before. So when we started dating, it all felt perfect somehow. But this has happened.

Of course, being the in love and understanding bitch that I am, I gave another chance. After all, I knew that he was just a dumb fool that night it happened. And he confessed it to me the next morning.

Months after, I still get flashbacks of it. It hurts the same. But I learned to tame it somehow. I couldn't help but blame myself too because I already had an intuition about it that same night. I could've stopped it. I hate that I'm really seeing progress in my boyfriend, that he's really putting an effort not to make me feel suspicious, jealous, or be reminded of what happened months ago and giving an effort to make things right (even with the girl he cheated with), yet I'M STILL STUCK. I hate it.

I know to myself that he'd really won't do it again and I hate it because I still feel shit like this.