Back in September I started texting a woman after I broke up with my girlfriend a month earlier. I was just looking for some rebound sex and affection because my ex had left an imprint on me that to this day I haven’t fully shaken, not my brightest moment. I’m a heavy dating app user and love tinder, bumble, etc, and have had relative success with finding likeminded women after breakups.

I was actually using yikyak one day in my college town and found a post from a 26F nurse working in a hospice (I’m a 22M and just graduated last May) who was looking for a younger guy to experiment with. If you don’t know what yikyak is, it allows you to see comments posted anonymously within a 5 mile radius called your “herd” but you can still DM the OP of a post if you want to chat with them privately. She responded and the only thing she wanted to know was your body build and age, so I told her everything. She said she was interested and gave me a burner Snapchat account with a low score. I completely thought it was fake but entertained it because I was obviously horny.

About two months goes by and we’re sexting, talking every few days and she had some odd texting habits. She’d leave me on delivered for 1-3 days occasionally then text back with a plethora of videos and pictures saying she wanted to see me. I’d respond likewise. She was only preoccupied with sex, and didn’t want to talk about anything in her day to day life, which was odd. Most previous hookups I’ve had at least wanted you to act interested in them and not just their bodies. You’re selling them a dream for one night not just yourself.

I decided to meet her right on November 1st. I’d bought a hotel room on the top floor of a nice local hotel because she didn’t want to meet at her house and because she promised she’d reimburse me for the cost of the room once she arrived. 7:00 PM rolls around when I told her to arrive, and I hear a knock at the door. It‘s her no question, so I guide her by the hand inside and we exchange pleasantries for only a few seconds before ripping eachother's clothes off and getting down to business. Here’s where the red flags come in that I can’t get out of my head.

About half way through the deed she tells me to record and to take a photo of her. Not to add to a collection. To tell her husband that she made it here safely; she was so preoccupied with meeting me that she skipped telling me she was married and went straight into having sex. I immediately started questioning if she was being honest. If she is married, is she really a swinger? Is her husband tracking her phone and about to start frantically knocking on my hotel room door? Does she have any STDs? What else has she lied to me about? I couldn’t continue after she took those photos of her on me. I faked an orgasm a couple minutes later and started asking her a bunch of questions while we cuddled. Just this month I learned from a friend who has slept with the husband and figured out their real identity that, not only is she a swinger, but that I knew her husband and he had given her the “ok” to sleep with me without my knowledge.

I’ve been completely disgusted with myself for the past few months and I think about this awful experience every day. It affected my performance in the bedroom around girls I actually liked because now I feel as if there’s no way to genuinely “know” if they like me or not. It changed the way I view marriage as a whole. Why even get married in the first place if you desire other people’s intimacy and their bodies and have decided on never having children? Is it the ability to carry on a double life and be viewed as normal by the rest of society? It’s obvious that there was no love there because she denigrated her own husband in bed after we were finished and said she hates not being able to break the “rules” they have in place: no kissing, no cuddling, no staying the night, and no orgasming inside her. The no kissing and cuddling rules were broken before I even knew there were rules to begin with.

It utterly disgusts me how someone could go through with this and not even tell the person they were having sex with until you were in the act, as if they were wanting to involve me in their fetish without my consent!

There’s so much more that I haven’t included in this story, but just know that it was the husband’s idea to start introducing other people, and now they’re getting a divorce according to mutual friends and their Facebook profile because the husband found a more beautiful younger woman to have sex with, which he was able to convince to get married after their divorce.