I'm middle-age trans female, I transioned in 2000s, live since that time in the stealth - pretend I'm just female - and married in the middle of 2010s(he knows, his parents are not). He initially was a good guy, we immigrated together in Canada, than domestic violence and related abuse start. I lose my local friends, because they started to ask me about bruises, my heavy makeup, etc. I feel so isolated, and feel that my life is failed. I need somebody to care about, like... Reason to live, idk how to explain. Idk why he became monster, but his personality changed really sudden - in 2021, December he was my sweetheart, but just in one month, he became just like another person. Initially, he was liberal. Now he is far right, fan of Andrew Tate, etc. Also, I feel like, I spent my life to a guy, who is not deserves it. But in the same time, he still live a lot of things which I love, like science & tech, he is still kinda of transhumanist/singularist, also, I have nobody more else in this world. Shit, life is so hard and so bad. I can't beleave, that we live in the harmony just few years back. Or maybe I believe: and wanna to wake up and find me in the past. My life is f*cked :(