I’m a bit at a loss. For the last 5 years, the sex life between my wife (42f) and I (35m) has been awful. Maybe once a month, and she just rolls over to let me “get it over with”. She has never cum from PIV (with me or others in her past). After I cum, she lets me get her vibrator out and will sometimes reach orgasm. Nothing else gets her off. It’s the worst sexual relationship I’ve ever had. We fight all of the time, and I’ve pretty much given up and resort to masturbation in the shower every morning. She hates masturbation herself (says she might do it once every couple months), and hates that I masturbate.

I thought chastity would help. We’ve discussed over the last couple of years, and she was pretty creeped out about it. I’ve tried on my own behind her back and find the cage is incredibly painful to sleep with, so I’ve paused that expectation quite a bit.

This past week we’ve had some fun discussions around doing Chasity without the cage (just committing to not masturbate or cum unless she gives permission). The first couple of days, she was pretty excited by this idea and control. But as the week has gone on, she’s just ignored anything to do with intimacy or physical touch. If I try to cuddle her in bed she winces at my touch like she’s repulsed.if I try to go down on her she pushes me away.

It’s just frustrating guys. I would have thought she would relax a bit knowing there’s no expectation to get me off, and get to focus on her own pleasure and “hopefully” unlock some libido that could be down there still. But to no avail.

We probably just have a relationSHIT, and my kinky mind, high libido, and expectations are just not a match for her. Not really sure what to do here. We have 3 young kids (toddlers) and this is my home for life. I’m ready to go back to hiding my masturbating in the shower before work to have my pathetic releases of “something”.

But I’m also so fed up with this shitty sexual life.