The people saying it have good intentions but you don't know the kind of lives people have had, the things theyve been through and I get that it might be a coping problem for the small stress factors in some peoples lives but I am just so tired of hearing it, and asking them to explain why kids in africa have loiasis is mean but life sucks and trivializing other people's struggles with some energy crystal foofoo koombaya bullshit is in the same vein to me as going around asking people if theyve accepted the lord jesus christ as their savior.

If I'm having a bad day and someone says this to me the first things that come to mind are the literal worst things I have ever experienced because it begs the question, did those things happen for a reason? What does "a reason" have to do with anything? Dying a slow death from cancer, oh yeah tell me more about the reason this happened?

Edit: I'm getting some different interpretations and explanations of the phrase which I get its pretty open ended but any time I've had it explained to me by someone using it, it goes something bad happened to me and because of this another door opened, they met someone or ended up in the hospital and found out they had cancer early on, things like this. I'm not arguing about the meaning of the phrase or the intentions, its usually said to someone in an effort to bring some light to a shitty circumstance. If someone just lost a sibling and their inheritance just doubled, yeah theres a bright side to that situation. Sure. Do you think that the survivor wants to hear that? Do you think they want to hear about the "positives" of that kind of loss? I think even if its with good intentions you shouldn't try and tell someone that something as broad as everything that has happened or is happening in their lives should be looked at with some positive outlook because when you say something like this to them their brain is going to go to the worst thing it can if they have that kind of trauma in their lives and you're just reminding them of it.

ANOTHER EDIT: my entire argument against using the phrase is no matter the good intentions behind it you could remind someone of trauma. Don’t try and change the scope of the argument with some religious advertisement. There’s a time and place for any phrase, if you’re in a conversation and taking about something traumatic you could try and bring up potential positives or some kind of helpful advice, the actual phrase itself though is lazy and worthless. If you’re engaged in small talk with someone you don’t know that well, it shouldn’t be said. If you’re deep in a conversation with someone, the phrase by itself is worthless and it’s better to try and help the person come to see the light in a situation or the growth they’ve had because of it. In a personal conversation about trauma it’s the equivalent of saying “you’ll be fine” after they tell you something that’s troubling them.