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I'm sorry but the whole idea of the nuclear family to me is something that heavily appeals to people who want to abuse children. I mean think of it, we say 2 adults are allowed to have "ownership" of a child, given legal rights over this person and decide everything for them. This child is financially reliant on these people and is obligated to listen to them with the assumption they know whats best. This is literally the dynamic an abuser dreams of.
And on top of that, we shame children for lying to their parents or not trusting them. Parents are allowed to inflict whatever type of punishment they want on their children with very little pushback (i mean even beating is usually justified, its very rare for people to think a parent went too extreme on their children). And children are blamed for ever being upset with their parent, and taught to be grateful these parents are even providing for them. Its amazing that we see this and act like abuse isn't just the natural consequence of this, as if this isn't a system that perfectly enables it.
Most institutions in most societies have hierarchies
The vast majority of them
Again, the issue isn't that it attracts abusers because there's a hierarchy, it attracts abusers because the hierarchy doesn't care about abuse.
If there was a baseball team that was known for having a bunch of abusers, that doesn't mean baseball is broken--it means that specific team is run by people who don't care about abusers.
Look at how many youtubers turn out to be pedos or abusers. It doesn't mean content creation is bad, it just means within those individual groups/channels there isn't any onus to give a shit about abuse.
If churches cared about getting rid of abuse, they would be safer places. The issue with abuse in church is less the structure of church and more how it is dealt with.
Churches are places where huge amounts of people congregate. It's only "dangerous" if you leave your children alone with abusers. There are only abusers in the church because the church doesn't care about getting rid of abuse. Obviously if there were no abusers, it'd be abuse free--but logically churches aren't hotspots of abuse because of the specific way it's set up.
Because abuse can really happen anywhere. There isn't a specific institution that is 100% abuse free, there aren't specific societal structures that have less abuse by design unless they specifically care about getting rid of abuse.
The issue isn't how it's set up, it's how it's run.
It's not set up for abuse anymore than churches, schools, or online chatrooms are set up for abuse. That is to say, it can happen anywhere and the things you're pointing out don't necessarily lead to or attract abuse.
The problem with the nuclear family isn't that it's appealing to abusers, it's that most nuclear families don't operate with the "it takes a village" principle. There are plenty of reasons abuse can happen, most of them are a lack of variety in the types of adults around the children.
Churches are hotspots for abuse because non-abusive adults are disincentivized from taking action on potential abuse. If you call out an abusive bishop, the church just sends that bishop somewhere else.
Similarly, nuclear families can sometimes become individualistic and dependent. The mother in a nuclear family may not be able to do much about abuse if the father is the only breadwinner and controls most of the finances.
If the parents are abusive, then it stands to reason that any family plan/makeup will continue abuse unless someone pushes back (for example, bigamist families may also deal with abuse). Ideally, it's another adult, but that's why the "variety" and "village" aspects are necessary.
In summation, the issue isn't specific family plans, it's making sure that children have as many helpful adults around as possible.
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You're essentially agreeing with me, the issue isn't hierarchies per se, but how the hierarchy is run
If it's a rigid hierarchy, that might lead to more issues than if it was more flexible. A hierarchy being flexible doesn't mean it is no longer a hierarchy.