I'm disinclined to brag in earnest. It's unseemly, right? But also I'm here to impress you, so I actually have to say nice things about myself. Without further ado:

I'm the funniest person I know. I'm just so clever. I love words an inordinate amount. They do so much for me and ask nothing in return. How cool is that?! 

I'm also the smartest person I know, and I have nothing to show for it. I'm really good at the NYT Crossword. I graduated from the hardest* school the Department of Defense has to offer, without putting any effort in. Consequently, I speak Modern Standard Arabic. 

I've got fresh new purple hair. I've got friendly mutton chops. I've got a bepis that's above average length and girth. The rest of me is also slightly above average girth, but personally I blame the deadly pandemic for making the climbing gym unsafe to visit. I'm genderfluid, so you probably should be bi. I use he-nouns and she-nouns. Un-fuck-up-able. 

I'm a moderately experienced Dom. I know what I like, I know what I don't. I'm an excellent communicator. I love to talk, I think consent is sexy. No matter your experience level, I'm prepared to explore your interests respectfully and safely. Just as God intended. 

So, what do I like? I'm glad you asked! Or: I'm glad I asked on your behalf. I love anal, being called Daddy, impact play, exhibitionism, degradation, humiliation, orgasm control and denial, edging, spit play, cuckqueaning, being a bull, water sports, and breeding/marking. 

Oh, or did you mean regular stuff? I listen to a lot of music. A weird and wide variety. Most of my clothes are band shirts. I enjoy television. I like Star Wars and Marvel, and I love the first 3 Pirates of the Caribbean movies. Not that I'm only interested in franchises, but that's sorta how movies go lately. I watch Critical Role punctually, and play D&D every week. I DM and love to get new players into the hobby. My knowledge of the game is honestly encyclopedic. I like rules. I'm also fully a communist.

What do I don't like? Poop, vomit, feet, blood, rap music, country music. Everything else is negotiable. 

What's the nature of our relationship? I'm not monogamous. It just ain't in me. But I am looking for a primary partner. Someone I can love, ya dig? I love to offer structure to a sub's life. I feel best when I'm helping someone set manageable goals and achieve them. I want to be that Daddy for you, in exchange for your submission and dedication. I want to help you feel like a good girl, and I want to help you celebrate those successes. 

If you're so inclined, I invite you to send me a nice introductory message. Please include a physical description or some pictures, a few goals you're working toward, and the name of your favorite album or book. Just as proof that you read this, and as something nice to chat about until we find our stride. 

*technically bomb blow uppers is a harder school but that's because less than an A is failing.