You had a troubled childhood and probably look for affection in the wrong places. You have a touch of anxiety and might use cigarettes or vapes when you feel anxious.
You equate being sexually desired to a feeling of being loved.
You spend a lot of time alone in your own world because you don’t really identify with people your own age.
You find yourself attracted to older men but not “hot” ones. They have to actually look old.
You wonder if they would love you. Desire you. You wonder what it would be like to be close with one. Alone with one.
And you wonder why you feel this way.
You’ve never actually let yourself act on your desires. But the thought is persistent and it excites you. Although you feel weird about it.
Part of you wants to be alone with them in their private world. Wrapped up in their attention. Safe. And desired. Without having to worry about anyone or anything else.
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- 8 months ago
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