Hi. I am little sometimes.

I really want my human so that we can do together things.

Daddy I don't think I'm going to make it without you. I have looked for too long and met too many wrong people.

All of life is a sunk cost. I didn't have a good family so I created a fantasy where you and I could still have a good life and that would be better than a good childhood. But I met some bad people and I don't think I will meet you anymore.

Daddy, human, person. If you are dead I understand why we never met. I'm sorry you died early. If you are still desperately looking, I'm sorry daddy. I have been looking everywhere for you. And also taken long periods of not looking. And also done all the things I was supposed to do while single like all the sports and make money and travel on my own but I hate doing those things on my own. Really. I hate being by myself all the time. Maybe other people it's different because they have family or something but for me I don't have that and friends won't be there for when I grow old or for when I want to eat together on a daily basis.

Daddy I think I'm not gonna make it. I will keep trying of course but there is no joy. I thought I met a good person and I was getting better but then he mistreated me and all the progress is lost as it always is. Because daddy I get joy when I think I'm building something healthful with you. But it csn all be taken away and daddy i don't have capacity anymore for everything to keep falling but I also can't build it on my own. Even if I succeed at building something on my own it won't be right. It's like if you were always meant to be an artist and then you became a doctor for your whole life and never had time to do art. It's...a failure.

I was meant to create something really beautiful with you and so much of it was taken away already. I don't know what to do. I can't create with the wrong guys. It never works. I can't create in the wrong job, or in the wrong home. And yes of course I could keep learning and planning for the future but what's the point of planning for a future that never comes?