Being an adult is so hard and I want someone to make sure I'm taking care of myself and be proud of me. I don't think I'll get any replies since I'm aro/ace and ENM, but I want someone to take care of me so bad, so I'm trying to be brave.
I've only had one CG before briefly, and things started out ok I guess, but he kept trying to convince me to make out with him. I like snuggles and hugs and holding hands and forehead kisses so much, but that wasn't enough. And I would work SO hard to make him proud, and sometimes I got praise and sometimes I got ignored. I kept thinking it was my fault since I'm autistic so I wasn't communicating or understanding correctly, but initially I would color pictures for him and he would say how pretty they were and what a good job I'd done... I got comfortable enough for a while to try to ask for bedtime stories and never got any. I thought it was just bad timing in our schedules, but then he stopped caring about my coloring and stopped wanting to talk about me much at all, just his work and his interests.
Even if no one reads this and thinks they might want to be my CG, if you have an advice on what I did wrong or if I was just with the wrong CG, I'd appreciate your time and words <3
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- 1 year ago
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