Hello and welcome to the show. Snacks will be provided at the slight cost of legitimate conversation and a distinct lack of dick pics. Be warned, this is a small book. Short story. An epic. Whatever works best to describe it.

So, hi, hello, fancy meeting you here. I'm 25 and am awfully tired of the America's Got Talent Audition type style of people through my bed and life. I am ideally looking for someone who is interested in IRL that progresses into a LTR with dynamic involved.

I'm a submissive who prefers IRL, but am okay with things starting out online. I will be upfront and honest: I have a very busy work schedule and it's gotten in the way before. I work long hours, drive long hours, and often fall asleep in the dog bed cuddling my dogs and cats with my shoes and glasses still on. I am open to relocating, but have never been outside of the US and can't see myself across the ocean from my family. If you're looking for someone who can text or call you at all hours of the day, I'm not that girl. But I am the girl who can send you lots of really cool animal pictures and facts. For example, did you know that the Mola Mola (aka the ocean sunfish) is one of the largest boney fish on the planet and can reach over 4 thousand pounds? It's also completely useless and seals regularly rip their fins off to use as frisbees because this thing is basically a floating trash bag of yuck and lack of evolution. I would like to pet one immediately and immeasurably. I would name it Dave and it would be super rad.

More boring stuff about me: I'm about 5'7 but have never actually measured. I usually find the tallest person in the room, ask them how tall they are, and then do the mental math. I've got blue eyes, big glasses, and very very long blonde hair that's usually in a messy bun and has a ton of pens stuck inside it. I'm a bit on the fluffy side with a chubby mom bod. I'm chronically covered in pet hair from both my personal minions and from work and I have the dumbest farmers tan on the planet because I always stick my arm out the window when I drive. I'm a huge reader and that's one of the only times you'll find me being quiet. I'm also one of those insanely annoying people who can fall asleep in under 1 minute and I've actually fallen asleep mid sentence before. Minus when I'm reading, noise is a big deal for me. I always have a podcast, YouTube, or music playing and can often be found using my toothbrush in the shower as a microphone for a off key concert. I listened to a ton of different types of music, but my most recent 5 artists are Set It Off, Kansas, Dorothy , Fall Out Boy, and The Devil Makes Three. As for podcasts: critical. freaking. role. I'm still on campaign 1 though! I'm right at the point where the Chroma Conclave is the BBEG. I would die for Scanlan and Percy needs a cinnamon roll and a forehead smooch.

Time for the fun stuff: I'm a submissive and although I've been a switch in the past, it doesn't come naturally to me. I'm a bold, brash, confident lady outside of the bedroom who's a very sarcastic HR nightmare. I cuss like a sailor, am constantly making dirty jokes because it's a running game at work to see if we can gross each other out, and will raise my eyebrows in pure "what the fuck??" When told to behave in public. But I'm also completely oblivious to a lot of in-between-the-lines type things until SEVERAL hours later. But inside the bedroom? I desperately desperately don't want to think. My sub space has varying levels of doll-like behavior and it makes me extremely eager to please and also super easy to manipulate. Because of that, trust and respect is a very big part of what makes me comfortable with a partner. Having my hard limits respected and feeling safe with my partner is a major thing for me. I thrive in a environment where my oral fixation is encouraged or fulfilled. Cock/pussywarming, sucking or licking fingers and hands, tongue baths, or even nursing are all sure fire ways to make me sleepy eyed and happy. I adore impact play and find it incredibly grounding to feel those aches for several days. I like having my pain tolerance pushed, but am also a huge baby who will cry at the slightest tap of a hand against my butt. And will then, in the same breath, tell you I can handle it and to keep going.
Bondage is also one of my top favs. Collars always make me feel like I'm cherished and gags test my patience as much as they keep me entertained. Safe words are hard for me because my subspace is mostly nonverbal. Think puppy-doll like thing?? So, the color system work well for me with check ins. I just need time to activate that part of my brain. There's definitely some lag involved. Anal and watersports are alright in small doses. I don't need to limp into work smelling like a urinal, if you get my drift.

My hard limits: scat, blood play, weapons/knives, animals/beastiality, pedophilia/anything involving kids, permanent marks, and being choked into unconsciousness.

If you're interested, feel free to shoot me a chat! Please, for the LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY, don't send me just "hi" followed by a dick pic several minutes later. You're more than just your dick and I'm not looking for a one off of mind blowing sex. I want to meet a actual human person with a whole personality between their ears.