Is there a Daddy that is lonely as I am and craving to find the one little to share all the love we have inside? Someone who can really be nurturing and patient and caring even in my bad days and loving even when I don't seem to deserve love? Someone who is really committed to taking care of someone, not just in a romantic way, but really knowing how deep it is and how much responsibility it takes to get someone else’s heart in their hands? I feel all the love and sweetness I have in me was waisted and lost, cuz I am so hurt that even my little seems to have lost faith in kindness. And I have no one to give my love to. Maybe after all I was not made to be loved, idk.

I feel like I'm in quicksand where the more I move, the faster I sink. I need an external and firm hand to help me get back to being who I am.

About me… I'm a little (sometimes middle or pet or even just vanilla) that has been through a lot in life and didn't really recover from CPTSD. I have trust issues and a huge defense to try not to get hurt again. As a real child, I never had someone that loved me and suffered a lot of abuse of all kinds. I have consciousness about how trauma works, I know my triggers, I've done a lot of therapy but never really helped. I have been dealing with depression, autoimmune diseases and TONS of chronic and debilitating physical pain most of my life even though many people around may never suspect of that.

I'm a little who could never really be one, who had to be an adult very early in life and who always had to deal with everything alone. I never had a hug or a safe place, never felt really important to anyone. And I miss that because it's all I ever wanted and needed. Being vulnerable is hard to me because of all the things I've been through.

I used to have a lot of strength and talents but my feeling is that I don't feel it's worthy to live because I never had real bond to life, as the people who gave me life regretted it and hurt me in several forms and abandoned me. Right now, I am dealing with a lot and I don´t feel capable or motivated enough to even organize or do stuff that I need to do. I´m burned out and in a lot of physical pain. Meds doesn’t help anymore.

I do not want to discuss treatments. What I need is some helping and really loving hand to help me organize things, check on me, be a reason for me to still keep trying even though the pain is insane. Someone that think I am worth and lovable, someone that can see something good in me and be by my side. DDLG is not a fetish or a play for me, is my most basic need and maybe the most hidden one.

There are things I should be doing even to try to get better, but I just cant. I cant alone anymore. I need something that speaks louder than the pain and the depression now. Some reason. I hope you can give me that… Usually I am not a fan of micromanagement, but right now I need someone caring, attentive an consistent enough to walk with me every step on the way, helping to organize my priorities and my day, check if have done the things I need, remembering me, because sometimes the pain gets so overwhelming I can’t even focus or remember things. I need help from a pacient, consistent, pragmatic, caring and I need a caring man for whom I can be the most precious girl and feel that that is a person out there who truly cares about me, loves me, talks to me every day and to whom I can give all my love to.

I know there is a lot of catfishing, ghosting, abuse and imaturity among the so called Dads over here but who knows... Maybe there is someone true out there. Someone as lonely as me. Someone that really needs to take care of someone as much as I need to be taken care of.

As a little, contrary of adult me, I’m extremely clingy and needy. I need tons of presence, consistence and hugs, and being able to just relax, let go, stop worrying about adult stuff and just feel safe and loved and important to someone else, and cared for. My main love language is physical, second is quality time. A hug helps me more than thousands of words or advices would. Please don’t come with clichés, motivational sentences, empty praise. That’s the last thing I need. What I need is a comfort place to rest inside your arms, a chest where I can put my head in silence, just enjoying the feeling of being safe and loved. I don't need to talk, I just need to feel safe and loved. That is the motivation I need. And consistence. Tons of consistence. Not sure if this is the place, as DDlg here seems not to be very real. I have a lot to give, but it will probably take long for me to trust you enough to open my heart again.

When I feel warmth and kindness, I can be the best partner, colorful, supportive, loving, creative. But when I'm in a bad place, I don't even know how to get out from bad or how to stop crying. It was never really easy to put my guards down, but after the traumatic DDlg experience, it seems it's becoming impossible to open up and trust anyone again (especially here, with so many predators, catfishing etc.).

My main love languages are physical and quality time, so only online is hard for me, especially if I have no sensorial memory of the person. Voice helps A LOT. Just texting makes me extremely anxious and some times aggressive, because it can easily get me triggered to some very bad issues from childhood and teen years. Also, typing is frequently bad because it increases the pain when I am on a crisis. I literally become a lil monster. So if you contact me, please be able to voice me.

I like coloring, painting, inventing things with paper, create stories, baths, being taken care, dressed, have my hair combed, being fed, lullabies, bed time stories, pets... I love physical affection a lot. I haven’t been able to explore much of little space with a real Daddy. I need someone who can hold my hand and take me on that journey.

I don't need a stern person. I had too much of stern and discipline and pain in my real childhood. I need a nurturing Daddy. I can be a good girl because I want to be one and following orders pleases me, rewards work much more than punishments for me.

Since a child I envy rescued cats and dogs. I envy the way people treat them with patience, kindness, unconditional love. I envy them because no one ever did that for me and I know how pathetic this sound, but it's true.

I know I wrote too much no one will probably read this. But who knows, maybe there is someone out there who wants that. I'm a lot of work, but I'm worthy.

Please only write me if you really read ALL the things I wrote, are SINGLE and OVER 30, have the time and the emotional availability to really become part of my life, at the bare minimum for the next months, are emotional stable yourself and a comprehensive person.

Tell me a bit about you and how do you think you can help me.

EDIT: please, boys of 21 yo, RESPECT what is in the post. I do not consent tto people under 30 sending me dms. Anso, I am NOT asking for advice and didn't give any consent to that too.