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Please help 😩 I really need advice. I’m so anxious and scared, that I can’t get my HR to be reasonable.
Have been severe the last 11 months, finally on the moderate side of severe but definitely still one wrong move away from being fully bedridden again. (Currently primarily bedridden, fully homebound.)
My partner is my primary caregiver and is going out of town for business for about 10 days, then back for a week, gone for another 10 days.
It was decided that I should stay with a close friend who used to be my primary caregiver, and meanwhile go to get the ultrasound and mammogram I’ve been needing the last four ish months. (Haven’t done it bc so severe and then I had the flu for a whole month…)
Just packing my things half way caused a bad crash. We had to delay my trip because I have been too sick to leave. But my partner still has to go out of town tomorrow, whether I’m home alone or leave or what.
Enter the agoraphobia I haven’t had to deal with for a year bc I can’t leave anyway. I’m on the verge of a panic attack, feels like constantly.
Am I stupid for trying to leave? Last time I left the house, I had such a bad crash I haven’t left for almost a year since. I’m still not recovered and I’m terrified of what could happen this time.
I was supposed to be taken last night but couldn’t. Rescheduled for tonight but not feeling confident about it. Partner is taking me.
My radiology appointment is tomorrow morning 930 am. Friend is taking me.
Partner is leaving at 1pm tomorrow.
I’m totally freaking out. Should I be rescheduling my appointment? What am I even doing leaving?? Should I be getting a friend to do meal prep for me and just tough it out? That’s usually what I do but he’s never been gone for so long.
And there’s the radiology thing.
My brain is going in circles and my heart is running laps with it. :(
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- 11 months ago
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