This post has been de-listed
It is no longer included in search results and normal feeds (front page, hot posts, subreddit posts, etc). It remains visible only via the author's post history.
More specifically, I’m looking for “the noor of my eyes and the sultan of my heart”. I seek a healthy, genuine, multi-faceted, and irreplaceable romantic connection with a man/ masculine presenting person/ possibly male couple.
Before You Continue Reading
I’m not interested in casual dating or being with someone just because we are both feeling lonely. Loneliness is a pang of hunger for human connection, while I have felt that hunger, I have also felt terribly lonely when partnered and the hurt of not being seen and cherished for who I am became a bigger deterrent against being with a person just to be with someone. I’m working hard to give myself a life of softness, peace, good health, and happiness, and I am writing this section because I don’t want someone who will impede in the possibility of me achieving those things.
So, it’s needless to say that I value quality things and people and am more than comfortable with my own company. My desire for a partner(s) is exactly that: a desire and not a necessity and I expect the people responding to my post to have the same mentality. I’m not in a rush to be partnered; I see this as a marathon- not a sprint. 😊
Also, you may have an inkling of this already, but this is going to be a long post. A very long one. I’m pretty thorough transparent and I don’t want to mislead someone into thinking we may be compatible, but in reality, we aren’t because of differing values, interests, &/ inability to respect the other person for who they are. And I hope that whoever responds to this post, sees value in taking interest in thoughts of others and valuing them.
Quick-ish Stats About Myself
- Name: Wehanga (pronounced “Wee-hang-gah”)
- Gender: Female
- Pronouns: She/Her
- Age: 25
- Race: South Asian
- Ethnicity: Sri Lankan
- Sexual Orientation: Demisexual Heteromantic Bisexual
- Relationship Dynamic of Interest: M/F, MFM, or MMF
- Height: 5’1 or 154.94 cm
- Body Type: Plump and bodacious 😉 (Size US 12/14)
- Located: Northeastern part of the US
- Occupation: Undergraduate Biochemistry Student Currently looking for a job in Pharma
- Life Plans:
- I’m planning on earning a PhD in molecular biology/ biochemistry/ genetics so that I can work as a medical research scientist or a scientist who can work remotely. It’s unlikely that I’ll also go for an MD anytime soon after earning a PhD, but maybe later on in my career if it’s necessary and my life situation at that moment allows for me to return to school? (If you’re wondering- I can’t really handle a MD/PhD program lol).
- I plan on either completing my PhD in the US or doing a Master’s -> PhD -> post-Doc program in Norway.
- I plan on either permanently emigrating to Norway or Costa Rica from the US. If I secure a remote job based in the US, I hope to eventually emigrate to either country (most likely Costa Rica in that instance). But if I do need to work in person, I’d most likely be emigrating to Norway. This isn’t happening anytime soon, but it is a definite eventuality for me).
- We can discuss the why’s, how’s, when, and what ifs in further conversations. 😊
- The point is that you should also be interested in moving abroad with me if you’re not already in either of those two countries.
- I eventually want to get married.
- I would highly, HIGHLY prefer a small wedding (I am not able to tolerate large crowds of people very well, regardless of how well I know each person and I don’t want my wedding to turn into another trauma story for me to share with my therapist lol). I mention this because if having a large wedding is non-negotiable for you, then it would be best for us both to talk to other people. I can collaborate but not to that extent.
- I am child-free and I AM ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN THAT I DO NOT WANT CHILDREN. Ever. This is non-negotiable.
- Political Views: Leftist
- Pets: 1 very silly and very blind kittycat
- Favorite Bubble Tea Flavor(s): Honeydew 🍈and Milk Tea 🧋
More About Me, but not itemized 😉
In public and with people I’m not familiar with, I’m rather reserved and observant, even shy at times. It’s something I’ve never really gotten over, but once I warm up to a person – I’m playful and chatty. I am very much an introvert, but through grit, determination, and prayers I’ve been able to be an extroverted- introvert (This happens when the occasion calls for it and is usually followed by a day or two of near silence from me lol).
I’m generally pretty serious, but I have learned and am still learning how to ease up and enjoy life when the occasion doesn’t call for being serious. It’s fair to say that I am a particular person, with a Type A personality (but healthier and far less neurotic [though I do have my moments lol]). I’m definitely a person who knows what they like and what don’t like, but I’m always open to trying new things and exploring new experiences. I’m thoughtful, patient (to an extent lol), and considerate of others.
Three of my best qualities include my ability to practice kindness with myself and towards others, to practice compassion, and resilience. The most fundamental value I have is to treat myself and to treat others with the kindness, respect, and dignity that we all deserve as human beings. I have a large capacity for practicing empathy and compassion, mostly because I’ve often been hurt, marginalized, and disadvantaged so I can understand that life is difficult.
My greatest strength is my resilience – I’ve endured and overcome significant obstacles and hardships and am working achieve the life I want. I think of myself as a quiet and deep river that is still on the surface yet have strong undertows and currents. As surely as water erodes rock over time, I’ve slowly, yet surely eroded away the obstacles I have met to reach to a place beyond. I’m my own best advocate and my own source of strength, which is something that not most people can say. As strong as I am, I am rather sensitive and tender-hearted and I’m looking for someone who feels they are the same way or knows how to interact with a person like me.
I see my ability to love as a deep, deep well, which has made me think that maybe being in a polyandrous relationship may be possible. I’ve never been in one before, but the more I think about it, the greater I yearn to love two people, see them love each other, and be loved by both of them.
I am capable of change and adaption, but only for the better and positive. I won’t compromise my health, well-being, and future for anyone no matter how much I love them, nor would I expect anyone to do those things for me.
I won’t go into my hobbies, because well, we do need something to talk about what with how long this post is getting. 😉 I will say that I am mildly adventurous, open to new experiences, but I prefer more relaxed and genuinely enjoyable experiences. I’m not at all interested in keeping up with the Joneses, one up-ing people on Instagram and portraying a lifestyle that isn’t mine in reality. I only care about making myself and the ones I love happy and having those people do the same for me and themselves in return. I prefer laid-back and peaceful excursions, and prefer to make meaningful and positive memories with loved ones than doing stuff just so I can tell others that I did it, you know?
As far as sexual stuff goes – I won’t go into detail, but I do have specific tastes. I can discuss them in private conversations when the time calls for it. I go bananas for Soft Doms. 🍌❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😭
I’m not interested in FMF or MFF threesomes.
You
- Are a cis-gendered male or male-presenting non-binary person
- Sexuality is open so as long as you have the capacity to also be in heterosexual relationships with women
- If you are partnered with a man or masculine-presenting non-binary person, you both want to be romantically involved with me.
- Are between the ages of 28- 40
- Are of any race
- Have leftist views in politics
- I am a person who is affected by a number of highly politicized issues (for example I am an immigrant, a woman of color, and part of the LGBTQ community). It’s imperative that we are both on the same page when it comes to values and political ideations.
- Are kind, considerate, and compassionate.
- Are also interesting and multi-faceted
- Value & are pursuing self-improvement and healthy habits/ideations/lifestyles
- Have excellent or are actively working on achieving communication skills
- Are transparent and practice open and kind communication
- Want to get married if there is such a connection
- Are child-free and want to remain child-free
- Are open to moving to Costa Rica or Norway (or another country that is stable, has an affordable cost of living, universal healthcare, and free tuition).
- Are stable in their career or are working to achieve stability
- Like bubble tea and cats or is willing to be persuaded. . .
. . . message me 😊
Send me a well-thought-out message that shows me you’ve taken an interest and the time to read about my thoughts and interests and want to share with me your thoughts and interests. Don’t feel like it has to be as long as this post. But it should make me read, rather than glance – if that makes sense.
Hope to hear from you soon and take care <3
Apologies if the writing seems to visibly look disjointed. If you're on a mobile device, I think it'll look a little wonky for you as I'm writing on my computer.
Subreddit
Post Details
- Posted
- 2 years ago
- Reddit URL
- View post on reddit.com
- External URL
- reddit.com/r/cf4cf/comme...