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The next generation of adequate long-term girlfriend is finally here! Check it out!
Carefully crafted with only the most advanced marshmallow-grade materials!
Chews and swallows all the taco-like objects you can feed her!
Dress and make her up according to your own personal specifications! She gladly accepts all the help you can provide!
Infused with hyper-realistic social anxiety for the true human experience!
Fully poseable up to 40% of the recommended amount for a healthy adult female!
Really speaks dozens of pre-loaded phrases, including "Oh God, why did you let me eat so many tacos?" and "If you won't tell me what's wrong, how could I possibly know?"!
Turbo-charged TV-binging action!
Lights up whenever you take off your shirt!
Cries real tears over the silliest things!
Squeaks and squeals at impossibly high-pitched tones in the presence of animals!
Left-leaning design gives her logical political firepower!
Put a musical instrument in her hands and watch her try!
Carefully open her up to see the latest in introversion technology!
Charge her with hugs and snuggles! No wires, cords, or plugs needed!
Get yours today!
Batteries not included. Accessories sold separately.
** Manufacturer's note: Due to unexpected complications, it seems some of our female designs have been shipped out with some male-oriented components, and vice versa. If you happen to come across one of these irregular models, you have the option to bond over your, ahem, common interests, or simply return the defective product for a full refund. Thank you for your patience and cooperation.
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