About Me

I am a math PhD turned high school teacher, since that is one of the few socially acceptable ways to talk about math with most people. I'm sure that conjures up a certain image in your mind, and not all of it is inaccurate.

For example, I'm certainly introverted and a nerd, preferring quiet, thoughtful activities. Solitude is important to me, as is quality time and conversation with close friends. I currently keep in touch with a handful of friends from graduate school via a tabletop RPG campaign that meets twice a month online. When out and about, you're most likely to find me at a book club, writing in the library, or getting lost in a used bookstore.

My favorite genres are science fiction and fantasy, and I have a weak spot for historical romance (my favorite Bridgerton girl is, hands down, Eloise). When it comes to nonfiction, I enjoy reading about astronomy and science, but I also love anthropology and history, and I find linguistics fascinating (in fact, conlanging is one of my oldest hobbies).

I love collecting plushies, especially video game related ones (although one of my recent acquisitions was a bat from the Detroit Zoo). I value actually owning my media and am building up a small physical media collection of CDs, vinyls, and DVDs.

The next big dream in my life is to publish a novel, although I'm taking it one step at a time—I need to finish an outline first. I jump around from project to project, so right now I'm just trying to enjoy the process rather than obsessing over an outcome.

I also wouldn't mind finding someone to share my life with. I've given dating apps (more than) a fair shake, and while I had some nice matches, pleasant conversations, and even fun dates, I'm trying to explore alternative ways to meet people, especially those that don't require me to bother women just going about their day.

What I Don't Want, or

10 Things I'd Hate About You

Before I mention what it is that I am looking for, I want to be upfront about the ten things that are dealbreakers for me, so as to not waste your time.

• Kids: I don't want kids, and I am happy being childfree, and have no desire to change that. I don't want to get you pregnant, I don't want to adopt, and I certainly don't want to be a stepdad. For transparency, I am not sterile, although I currently have a vasectomy consultation scheduled for early August.
• Age Gaps: Ideally you should be between 27 and 33 years of age. This is a little more flexible than others and I'm open to stretching a little bit at the edges.
• Non-Monogamy: If you're already in a relationship, please keep scrolling. I have no desire to help you cheat nor am I interested in polyamory.
• Long Distance: Being able to consistently meet in person is important to me, so ideally you'd be in Ann Arbor/Ypsilanti, next best would be Southeast Michigan, then within an hour or two's drive. If it would be a burden for us to even meet halfway, it's probably not going to work.
• Drugs: I only drink socially, lightly, and infrequently; if you drink more than that, that's fine, but alcohol's not a big part of my life. As for other drugs, I don't want them in my life, whether nicotine, weed, shrooms, or anything else. (Caffeine's fine, if you're wondering. I don't drink it myself, but I love the smell of coffee.)
• Social Media Addicts: I have essentially no social media presence; it's basically reddit and Goodreads. If you have more than that, that's fine, but if you consider doomscrolling to be quality time—I don't.
• Conservatives: I consider myself a progressive and hope that our views and values are aligned, although they don't have to be identical.
• Religion: I consider myself nonreligious and there isn't room in my life for organized religion or the supernatural. If you consider yourself "spiritual, but not religious" or identify with your religion for cultural reasons, I'm open to learning about your relationship with faith.
• Casual: I am looking for a long-term relationship that will hopefully grow into a lifelong partnership and I hope that you are as well.
• Friends: Friendship is the foundation of a healthy relationship and I want my partner to be my best friend, but if you "want to be friends first", please see the above bullet point.

To elaborate on the last bullet point, if one of us decides that this won't work out romantically but friendship would still work, that's fine. I'm asking for intention right now, not commitment (I don't even know you!).

What I Do Want

In case my favorite Bridgerton character didn't give it away, my ideal partner is a clever, intelligent, thoughtful woman who enjoys reading, is forthright in her opinions, marches to the beat of her own drum, and is probably more talkative than me.

I'll admit that last one isn't really a requirement.

Physical attraction matters, of course, but is much more nebulous than personality. Ultimately, I need to see what you look like to know.

For anyone in Ann Arbor who will likely have to leave the area in a couple years, I am open to discussions about relocation. My family moved houses a lot growing up, so the feeling of home for me is not where I am, but who I am with.

If You Are Interested

If you reached the end of this and are interested in responding, please send me a direct message introducing yourself(reddit chat is jank, and often fails to alert me to chat requests). Please include your age and rough location and I would appreciate a fully body picture as well—I don't want to waste your time if there is no physical attraction and for safety reasons, I am not comfortable meeting someone for a date if I don't know what they look like.

Thank you for your attention, and I look forward to getting to know you!