As the calendar flips to another summer unattached, and the situation on dating apps dire, time to expand the search for someone to talk to while we watch the U.S. burn, either locally or across the oceans. Just don't want to do it alone - I need someone to laugh at my horrible jokes, after all.

Hello, l'm a 35 year standard issue white girl (non -hockey Stanley Cup included!), originally from the southern U.S., but now living in the NYC suburbs. I'm gainfully employed, divorced (young and dumb), childless (and keeping it that way), and while l'm currently on a leave of absence from grad school, planning on going back next year. I'm tall (5'10") and people willingly are seen in public with me, so l'm going to go out on a limb and say l'm semi-conventionally attractive. I enjoy the standard stuff - movies, concerts, sports, traveling, reading, pina coladas and getting lost in art museums. I just got back from Chicago because I had never seen Seurat's "A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte" in person and wanted to change that.

What am I looking for? I'd like to find the one who actually wants to spend the rest of their life with me, but l'd be beyond happy to expand my friend group beyond what it currently is - essentially decimated by covid and the passage of time. All I ask is that you're at least mid to late 30's or above. Location isn't important to me if it isn't important to you. Ability to hold a somewhat intelligent conversation and appreciation of dark humor a must. If I've guilted you into replying to/messaging me, please have it be something more substantial than "hey".

And if this doesn't work, I'm going to start collecting cats and yelling at kids to get off of my lawn.

(Honestly, may still do that even if things do work out)