My spouse and I have had our cat for 17 and a half years. We got lucky when we found her. It was early 2003, and we were looking for an orange and white kitten who could join my then girlfriend on her journey to California from Las Vegas. This was just after we finished high school. We went into the pet store and asked if they had any orange kittens and they said they some times get brought in by people who are looking to find homes for them. We walked around the mall, and decided to do another flyby in the pet store just to look at the animals. One of the girls working there remembered we had just been in there, and told us that minutes prior somebody dropped off an orange and white kitten. We immediately took her in, and she pretty much became the first addition to our tribe.

Miss Kitty aka “Midder” would go on to join us in so many of our adventures, and has been a part of our developing family since our early days. After getting her, we drove back and forth from SoCal to Las Vegas a few times in her first year. She would sit over our shoulders and attentively watch the hundreds of miles road go by. In my spouse’s and I’s journey with her, we would end up moving 12 times, having two children, finally getting a home that she could settle in with us, and bringing other pets into our lives.

From our late teens to our 30’s... Midder has been with us the whole way. She’s grown with us. She was here to welcome both of our children home from the hospital. She is the type of cat that you can feel expressed love from. She would go face to face and rub her head on ours. She would get this gooey eyed lovey look and stare right into yours. I thought it was so funny and odd. It was like a human that was trapped in a cat suit was living with us. Any time she has had a health issue or something that threatened her, she has always remained so stoic, and she is tougher than she needs to be. She’s hilariously marched down dogs in the neighborhood who’ve run up on our house. Midder is special in so many ways.

17 years. We knew this day was going to come, and now Midder is not doing well. It’s obvious that day is here. The other day, I took her to the vet to have her looked at because she started rapidly losing weight, and wasn’t moving around much. The visit showed that she had lost 30% of her body mass in a few short weeks, and we’ve now reached the point where she’s not eating or drinking. It’s like she can’t anymore. The vet said that there is something very serious happening with her body, and that even with an intense intervention, we are likely looking at letting Midder go. When he told us that I told him I needed a few minutes. I couldn’t even talk. I cried. I felt bruised inside, and didn’t know what the right and ethical thing to do was. He said giving her a little hydration and taking her home to be with our family was ok.

It’s gotten worse now. We’re losing her, and I understand it’s going to happen very soon. Her breathing is slow and heavy. She struggles to move around. She doesn’t look like she’s in pain, and still raises her head for scratches and cuddles, but she is dying... and without any food or water, I feel like I need to ask for help. I’m grateful for the time we have had with her, but this is so hard.

What do I do? The idea of putting her to sleep feels like a violation of the natural process. Then again, it’s not very natural for a cat to live 17 years. I know she’s not well, but I don’t know if she’s hurting. Guys, I don’t know what to do. If you were me, what’s the right thing to do in this situation? I don’t want to be selfish, but I also don’t want to deny her any more time she might have just because I am scared for her.

All I ask is for patience and understanding. The choice may seem more obvious to some of you, but it isn’t for us. We love her dearly, and are just asking for guidance.. thank you.

Update* she passed away right as I typed this up and sent it. We’re here with her now. Take a moment to love your furry family members tonight. This life is a gift, and it’s fragile and temporary.