I've read the guides, watched the videos, seasoned and reseasoned, stovetop and oven, and finally got a coating that I was happy with.

I'm excited. I want to test this thing out. Smash burgers are on the menu and my 12" Lodge cooks them spectacularly. Except, when I go to clean the pan, I notice that some of my seasoning is already coming off. I think that if I cook bacon it'll be OK. Bacon goes good; hashbrowns a little iffy but definitely not an issue; eggs ruined. Fuck.

What the hell am I doing wrong?

I was cooking at a low heat, had more than enough of oil and butter and bacon grease left in the pan AND I even added more just to make sure it worked. But you could still mistake my eggs for a topographical map of the goddamn moon.

I'm going to be re-re-reseasoning my pan soon. Going to sincerely roast the uppity little bastard. Was it my technique that led to the crappy coating? I followed the guides here and on r/castironrestoration damn near to the letter. Even mixed up a compound seasoning oil of grapeseed, crisco, and olive oil. (Didn't have beeswax on hand.) Cleaned the pan stupidly thoroughly. Spent almost 8 hours heating(450 for an hour), applying, and cooling over and over. Pan looked gorgeous. Felt smooth as glass and there wasn't a single square millimeter of stickiness. I thought that I had done it.

Seriously, what am I doing wrong?

On the seasoning side of things, I can only imagine that since I didn't get to crisco's smoke point it didn't properly polymerize, but wouldn't that have left a noticeable residue? Going to be taking it as close to 550 as I can next time, or maybe just heating it longer. I don't know. At this point I'm grasping at straws.

Tfl;dr: Can someone please explain to me how I'm being a dumbass? I can't figure it out.