So, a bit of history.

In college I landed a summer marketing analyst internship at a gaming computer company, on the product team. It was amazing, I loved it.

I got to take data and then develop solutions to make gamers lives better and more fun.

And then I got invited a second time, and maybe it was because I was taking a class at the same time, because the assignment when it was given for the internship felt like data-gathering instead of actually coming up with the solution based on the data Gathering, or my untreated ADHD meaning I missed a lunch meeting because I forgot to set it on my calendar, anyway, it didn't go well.

After college I was offered a job for 40k as a marketing analyst for a cloud computing company.

My dad told me to turn it down that it didn't pay enough, I being young at the time took his advice.

This was in 2014.

Fast forward to 2020 After working a mediocre retail job (I quit) I got into a job as a personal assistant (was let go due to budget) Then I worked at a market research company (let go, internal restructure) After that it was IT (let go, they gave different reasons to me and other employees) then I was a marketing assistant for a small start up (they felt marketing was a luxury they couldn't afford)

I am now being paid 45K doing work I can't stand because it's just doing what I am told, I just move marketshare around through search engine optimization it bores me to death and feels like mowing the lawn.

I love the people I work with and I do my best at the job every day despite this, but I desperately want to do something more meaningful with my life.

Truth be told I've never liked any of my jobs because I have always felt disposable and like all I am ever paid for is my time instead of my expertise.

I want to solve problems, I want to create things. I don't mind if the problems are consumer's problems I just want to actually have the ability to DO SOMETHING.

I don't want to be told it's not my department or, deal with that when you've finished all these piddly pointless tasks.

I love technology and video games. I love food, art, baking, design, I enjoy complex systems and making sense of them. I have been told I am a thinker.

I mainly want a job with some work life balance that doesn't make me feel like I am wasting 8 hours of my life and not making anyone's life better.

So what should I do?