26 year old male, living in Westchester outside of NYC with parents currently. Studied liberal arts at a meh-tier state school. Been working at this job out of college for 2 years. Don’t pay rent, plenty of savings. I understand a lot of people are going to read this post as a man playing the world’s tiniest violin but I’d like to say thanks for reading nonetheless.

I’m probably going to get fired from my job within the next six weeks. I don’t really want to explain the why/how, but it’s extremely likely.

I currently work in business development at a reputable company and am terrible at my job, lowest performer on the team. I’ve wanted to switch into a more technical role for a long time but have lacked the drive / focus. It’s also really quite difficult to do at my company. In the long run I think it’d give me the greatest professional happiness to work in a more technical role. I’ve started studying for Java as well as some technical certifications.

Here’s the thing - if time and money were infinite, I wouldn’t think about developing technical skills. My real passions are writing, performance, and music.

I feel like developing these new skills - Java, technical administration skills - are going to take a huge amount of time and a high level of dedication. I ask myself - What if I dedicated myself to writing or acting or music as I intend to dedicate myself to developing a technical skill set? If all the sweat I intended for Java was instead put towards a true passion of mine, could I really fail?

Bill Burr has a nice quote along the lines of “Hate your job or not, I would never tell someone with a $100k salary to get into this business because let me tell you…You think you hate your life? Imagine hating your life this much but making way less money.”

I’m really stuck here. Do I find a part time technical job and re-skill? Do I just quit and pursue my passion? Do I try to get a new part time technical job and then moonlight my passion?

Any advice on managing your dreams and reality are appreciated.