Hello! I’ve been in the funeral business now for 10 years. I’ve been burnt out for at least the last 3 years, and was about to leave the business when this particular job opportunity presented itself.

This was a last ditch effort to stay in the business, because the position offered a lower call volume, which would seemingly offer less stress. Everyone at the funeral home has young kids, so I thought they would understand the need to get work done and get home. They don’t.

But, more to the meat and potatoes of my question.

When I started, I was told that we do not up-sell people, they tell us how they want in order to celebrate the life of their loved one and then we fit them in to one of 10 packages that we offer.

I was also told that the other director and I would share the family load equally.

I was told that they have their way of doing things, but would welcome new ideas and perspectives (because literally no one else had worked in any other funeral home). They most certainly do not.

These last two months have been hell at work. Of the 11 families we served in March, I met with 10 of them. Of the 20 evening visitations we’ve had since January, I have worked 18 of them. My sleep quality has plummeted and my anxiety has flown through the roof.

My manager has turned from being super supportive to being a super micromanager who does not pass along any positive comments. Like zero. Only small inconsequential critiques. Nothing is good or perfect, unless he does it.

For example, we have a policy that everyone reads every thank you note and survey that is sent in to the funeral home. We had two thank you notes that came in this last week both of which were directed to me and did not let any of us look at them. Instead he came to me and said “you notice anything wrong with this note? It’s missing our logo on the back. You need to print these with our logo.”

Never mind the fact that I actually didn’t print them, it was one of our interns.

I asked “oh, who’s it from?” He told me the family name. “What did the note say?”, I asked, “just a thank you note to the staff.”

I have a high family satisfaction rate. In my 10 year career, I have only received 4 bad reviews (all situations out of my control). I’m very good at what I do. It has just become too much as of late.

Fast forward to Friday, I was called into the office and said that I was selling families the wrong package. We needed the more expensive packages to be selected. Mind you, he was talking about a discount package that we offer that does not include a lot of whistles and bells…because the families I put into that package did NOT want the other items. So he wants me to sell families the package that ends up costing families about $5000 more for stuff they don’t want. Ethically, this doesn’t sit well with me. Up selling funerals never has.

He’s recently taken over operations, and from what I gathered has placed the business in a very bad financial pickle. To the point that the last two pay periods were met with comments like “Oh thank goodness, we’ll make payroll.” Or “oh, we can eat this week!” After handing over a check from a family.

I’ve been keeping my ear open for opportunities outside the funeral home for awhile now, but these last two months have sealed the deal. The problem is that I relocated to take this position, and of course I have an obligation to provide for my own family.

I just need to know if I’m being overly dramatic or if this is truly a bad environment to be in.