30s woman in a male dominated field. Recently switched from the blue collared community to the corporate world in the same industy 6 months ago.

I was with my previous shop for almost 11 years. For the first 7 or 8 years I loved my job. I loved the people I worked with, I was making decent money for my age and education level, life was good. I was with this job during my first marriage pregnancy and divorce. To say this place had been with me through the best and worst of times would be an understatement.

But then suddenly, it wasn't. Its a family owned business & the owner is starting to transition into retirement, as he should. After 30 years, he deserves it. His son however, sucks. He didn't at first. But the business kept growing faster than they could find people. We were B U S Y. And there was a lot of pressure on the son. Unfortunately, he took it out on the people who he dealt with most aka me. He would yell at me, be very sarcastic, belittling. It got to be a lot. And was starting to effect my mental health. I was having panic attacks in my sleep, dreading going to work. Was just in a bad spot. And on top of that, I was getting paid around 40k a year. It paid the bills, ish. Im in the Chicago area, so it's expensive as hell. Finally after being told one day that I was "too sensitive " I said screw this, went home and applied to my current job. Went in after everything was official with the new place & quit on the spot. The owner was on vacation at the time. I let his son have it. I told him flat out he was the reason I was leaving. And how much his attitude sucked. How much of a shitty leader he was and how hell never be as successful as his father treating his people the way he does. I quit right before Christmas.

Been at this new place for almost 6 months. The schedule blows & corporate life is hell, but the benefits are kick ass, the facility is clean, I'm left alone and I'm getting paid 62k. My boyfriend makes over 80k a year. Were living in a pretty modest yet spacious apartment a county over, so we're comfortable financially.

However, I'd be lying if I said I felt comfortable &/or happy at this corporate job. My training was almost non-existent and I felt like I had to teach myself a lot of how to do my job. I did it at the last position too, so I was used to it I suppose. As a woman in a male dominated field, info on how to be good at my job is very rarely volunteered by coworkers. All of the knowledge I have in my industry is by listening to what was going on around me and paying attention to shit I was given to mindlessly process. Its nice to feel valued financially at my job, however I still feel like my male coworkers doubt my knowledge because of my gender.  Even though I came directly from the field this company is paid to manage, I am very rarely asked for my input and have heard the coworkers they ask give the wrong answer. But im not going to correct them, that never works out.

My boyfriend recently proposed. I said yes. Being that my family and I aren't close by any means, were planning on eloping this Sunday with our best friends. Not really interested in the big grand wedding, we'd rather put our money towards something else. Perhaps a house. If the market ever quits dickin around. We have a rainy day fund, but not a 2023 housing market fund.

We're stuck between saving saving saving and just saying fuck it & getting pregnant. Our goal is for me to eventually be a stay at home mom and raise my babies like I've always wanted. I only got 4.5 weeks with my daughter when she was born before I had to go back to work full time. I havent missed any milestones but it feels like a constant race between my mother and I to experience firsts. I've tried setting boundaries but my mother completely ignores my wishes as her mother. Its a whole other story but heavily contributes to why I want to be home with & raise my children. My fiance believes he could support us in our current situation. And I am confident he would evolve as our family did & would never allow our family to struggle. He is smart, driven and knows a lot of people in his industry. I doubt he will ever be jobless for longer than 24 outside of his own volition.

I'm not getting any younger, my family members have been having problems getting pregnant. Im worried about waiting longer than a couple years to try again.

We talked about getting pregnant in the next 6 months and seeing what happens, until today.

Today my old boss asked me out to lunch. I've gone back since my grand exit. They understood my reasoning and while they wish I didn't go, they had no hard feelings. Kinda shows how big of a dick the son was. Anyway, I went out to lunch with my old boss. Things aren't going so well over at my old job. They're realizing how big of an impact I had on the day to day operations. The girl who replaced me has limited experience in the industry & is doing the basic tasks I did when I first started 11 years ago. Plus, the owner is retiring, & so is my manager. My manager makes over 6 figures. I used to do his job when he wasn't in & things would run smoothly while he was on vacation. Theyre starting to consider the future of the business and are realizing they're going to have no one to run it in less than 3 years.

My old boss insisted my leaving changed his son. (Of fucking course it did right?) He asked me to come back & offered me 80k. I would be taking over my old managers job as he began to transition into retirement. Once he retired, I would be getting his salary. I dont know how much I believe has actually changed, but money talks. Plus, I can tell someone to eat shit if they get disrespectful. I cannot do that at my current job without an email from HR.

Obviously this changes the baby plans. I wouldn't be able to stay home with a baby. At least not right away.

I dont know if I should stay at my current job, get pregnant & stop working so I can raise my babies OR go back to what I know & make big bucks. I could still have babies, but would have to again rely on someone else for their day to day care. Doesn't necessarily have to be my mom but child care is $$$

Heavy sigh