Today I’m trying to be brave, today I’m trying to hold myself together.

This is when the things people say run through your head and make you isolate. I’m not brave today, I’m not positive today either.

I was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer back in April 2023. I had the 16 rounds of chemo, I had my surgery and I’ve done radiation.

I’m still in treatment though. I am in immunotherapy every three weeks and I take oral chemotherapy. This is taking a toll on my terribly.

I don’t even know who the girl is in the mirror is because I’ve gained so much from my thyroid being mad my face is hidden within all the fat. I have breathing problems and can’t walk because I get back spasms.

My stomach feels like it’s being ripped apart, my throat hurts and my dreams are the wildest they ever have been (having dreams in dreams and not knowing which one is the real world). Im afraid when i see the oncologist I’m just going to cry.

I hang around this subreddit because so many of you have helped me without knowing. I’ll see something someone says and screen shot it and then put it in my journal to read for times like this. You probably have no idea though.

So do your stuff because I’m falling apart and having the hardest time.

Edit: I saw the oncologist and they are sending in a referral to psychosocial and giving me the week off. Thank you all for all the kind words, this really is the best community no one really wants to have to be apart of.