I don’t know if I’m gonna make sense here, but I’m open to clarifying or talking further.

I feel like I have now had the experience a few times where I’ve gone on a date with a girl (different girls) who seem to have butch fetishes?

Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE femmes and I love people who are femme4butch. I love when queer women love butches. If I’m talking to - or going out with - someone and they tell me they’re into butches, I like that.

But… i have now had a few times where it felt like someone I was on a date with just wanted like, ANY butch. Like they have a very strict role in their mind of what I’m supposed to do, and they’ll try to get me to fit their mould?

Like I don’t tend to be super comfortable initiating physical content early on, but I recently had a woman tell me it was my “role” to initiate kisses. (And open car doors, and compliment her every date, etc)

I also went out with another person who just assumed I would be a stone top without asking so they just… never touched me? I had to bring it up after

And I actually like to be the initiator and be more masculine. I like to spoil my date. But I just hate when it feels like they’re going into a date with a pre determined image of what I SHOULD be and what they want, and trying to make me that… instead of just getting to know me and seeing if they like me or not?

Idk it’s been on my mind but my friends can’t really relate.