Ugh this is so embarrassing. I’m 29, and I’ve kissed plenty of people (maybe a dozen?). But most of them were either men, who initiated, or were in hookups, where … well, yk. You just get down to it.

I just cannot do it on a date. I had a third date last night and she drove me home. I was trying to convince myself at the end to kiss her in the car but it just made me so anxious/nauseous and I couldn’t. Even if I can tell that they’re feeling me, when I look at them to consider leaning in… I just suddenly fear that they don’t like me/ don’t want to kiss/ aren’t attracted to me (even if we’ve been complimenting each other the whole date!)

I’ve had other second, third, and fourth dates where similarly, I just couldn’t make myself do it. Even though I want to. They eventually fizzled out.

I fear that because I’m butch (and typically my dates aren’t), they might be expecting me to make the move. I don’t know what to do, y’all. I fear that women are just gonna give up on me or assume I’m not into them bc I don’t kiss them!

Please help 😭

(and yes ik i need to talk to my therapist about this)

(also i don’t really have a problem initiating sex or other touching it’s just kissing!)

Edit: I see the “ask” comments: I do intend to ask, but I’m just as afraid to ask.