Recap: Things at the colocation center got very, very quiet (and dark).

Except for the sudden yelling, that is.

Part 1

$BT – Me

$CE – Colocation Engineer

$CC – Fellow Colo Customer

$CSO – Colocation Security Officer

$HOBO – A hobo

When we last left off, the switch was flipped, the power was out, someone started screaming, and I had no idea what the hell was going on.

Screaming.

Why is it that people scream when it suddenly gets dark?

I guess answering that question would mean solving one of life’s greatest mysteries.

Ancient man knew that within the darkness lay predators, waiting to make a meal of him. It was for this reason that man invented fire (well and for warmth, destruction, cooking, and whole host of other reasons).

I envision the first man holding a burning branch high into the sky, as if to challenge the heavens and say, “God! I have tamed your world!”

That, however, was not what was being uttered by our brave engineer.

$CE – Who turned off the fucking lights!

Screaming in the background.

$BT - …

$CC – Does anyone have cell service?

More screaming in the background. It’s getting louder.

$CE – You idiot! Most of the cell tower backbone for the region runs through this site.

$CC – Well shit. When do you think the power will come back on?

$CE – The generator should be running by now.

The screaming. It was loud. Was I going mad?

Is this what insanity feels like?

No. Seriously. I wanted to know.

There was what sounded like a large, fat man screaming at the top of his lungs just a few short feet away from us and these two were going on about cell service.

It’s the coffee. Tech 3 must have poisoned it, somehow.

$CC – Do you hear that yelling?

Oh, thank God. It wasn’t just me.

$CE – Yeah, maybe we should go check it out.

Oh for fuck’s sake.

So away we went. Grabbing our flashlights like a telecom version of the Scooby Gang ready to do battle with the Lord of Darkness, we stumbled onto the main floor space, ready to oppose those who would steal our (properly encased and carefully fusion spliced) light.

It didn’t take us long to smell it: a grimy, gag-inducing odor that definitely did not belong in a space that had enough air handler capacity to pressurize a small city.

But then again, the air handlers were out.

Along with the power.

Where the fuck were the generators?

We managed to stumble outside where the other remaining colocation personnel had gathered. They stood there with their eyes transfixed upon us, like we were some sort of telecom demons emerging from the abyss.

$CSO – Are you okay?

$Internal BT – Define, okay?

$BT – Yeah, I think we’re good.

$CC – Well I’m not, my boss is going to be very upset we didn’t get those new servers installed.

Chill, bro. The power’s out. I’m sure it will be-

$CSO – You didn’t see the fire?

$Internal BT – Get the fuck out.

$BT – Fire?

$CSO – Yeah, the power went out, and when the generator came on the basement caught fire.

$Internal BT – Get the fuck out with that-

I was turning towards the building when I saw exactly what she was talking about.

There, from several of the windows on the first floor, came smoke. I had been wracking by brain trying to figure out what the smell was, and it turned out to be a combination of diesel fuel, construction materials, fiber jackets, and a whole host of other things that all made for a delightful nasal treat.

As I stood there, gawking at this now hallowed grave of all things telecom, a man on a bicycle came past.

He looked worse for wear, and was clearly high on something as the look on his face when he saw the smoking building was priceless.

$HOBO – Whoa-hoa! That shit is dank! Let me get a hit of that.

$CE – Are you out of your damn mind?

$HOBO – You aren’t hitting that shit?

$CE – Dude, it’s a building fire.

$HOBO – Bro, I didn’t know you could get high from a building fire.

$CE – We’re not high from the building fire.

$HOBO – Your loss, man.

$BT - …

$HOBO – That shit smells dank as purple haze.

$CE – Well then you can stand right over there away from us and take as big a whiff of it as you like.

$HOBO – Thanks, dude!

$Internal BT – What the fuck.

To be continued.

Edit: Looks like I've been spam filtered (or worse). If for some reason you are able to read this, post pictures of zip drives.

Okay. So I feel I should clarify. This is (hopefully) a temporary solution until TFTS stops blocking me (sad $BT is sad).

If it blows up or something, we'll keep it around.