I feel like my eating disorder has rotten my brain to a point where i feel less empathy for skinny people. i know it’s insane, but let me explain my thought process. it’s the fact that they have something i want so bad that i have harmed by body for years to achieve yet i am not. ofc it’s not their fault, but lusting and leering at thin bodies constantly, idealizing myself and my face on a thin body, or knowing i don’t look as good as thin people has almost created this warped reality where i almost resent these people at times. it’s like when you’re poor and see rich people especially when they’re complaining and suddenly you find yourself wishing you had their problems. i am constantly reminding myself things might be better if i were thin and he would like me if i was skinny like his ex and my face would be more attractive thinner, etc etc and then these ideas are further reenforced in beauty standards and social media so it just feels like truth. it feels like what i want is dangling in front of my face. I know it’s illogical and messed up and not their fault (obviously) just something i noticed about me and wonder if anyone else can relate.