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I'm on my first ever watch through of Buffy the Vampire the Slayer and just reached season 3 (On episode 4, No Spoilers past this please!) and I have had a persistent question through every episode: do other people, other fans, like Xander?
From the very get go I found him kind of obnoxious and invasive and mean towards Willow and Buffy. I have no doubts that he is their friend, but I just can't understand why any of them like him. He's salivating over Buffy for half the episodes until he gets his own relationship, and even then still seems to have some lovey dovey ness for Buffy. He completely dismisses Willow's feelings, which if he's not interested is totally fine, but then plays the overprotective 'no one else should be with her' angle sometimes too. He's downright nasty towards Buffy over Angel and her not being romantically interested in him. Personally, I like Angel and while it's perfectly reasonable for Xander to not like him, especially after all the events of season 2 with Angelus, Xander says some awful things to Buffy over it despite knowing how emotionally difficult all of this is. There's just no attempt at sympathy/empathy it feels like.
Most of the time he just comes off as a self-righteous irresponsible perv, and while he has his positive moments I just can never find myself actually liking him. The final straw was him being so irresponsible with Oz in episode 4 of s3; if Oz actually had gotten out and killed someone, that would have been entirely on Xander for falling asleep.
I don't know, I'm hoping some long term Buffy fans might be able to provide some insight into why they like Xander, or more analysis of his character that would give me a more well-rounded perspective on him. Any thoughts?
I apologise if I came on a tad aggressive. After a whole of being here you'll sense that there is a lot of anti Xander sentiment. And all of it is unwarranted.
Is Xander my favourite character? Not really. Faith is.
Why am I being so defensive over Xander? Because BtVs must have the only fanbase who hates the goodies over the baddies.
There are toxic undertones to it. You appear quite sensible and open to engagement, so you'll probably see it in time. And I hope you alter your opinion.
Oh cool.
So you like Willow, and yet she wanted to use Oz by making out with him in his van, thus trying to make Xander jealous?
How about when she cheated on Oz with Xander?
How about when Willow yelled at Xander and shamed him for dating Cordelia?
Yes. Lots of people love Xander. The ones who don't just confuse him with Joss Whedon. No other reason than that.
The haters just mirror what their peers are saying and thinking, as opposed to thinking for themselves.
You think Willow yelling at Xander for dating Cordelia is the sign of a good person? How about Giles who summoned that demon who killed a bunch of his friends?
Buffy skipping Town, leaving her friends to deal with the undead?
How about Cordelia treating people like garbage all through school?
See, your mistake was to skip the first two seasons:
Season 1: Saving Buffy's life in "Prophecy Girl"
Saving Giles from being decapitated in "The Puppet Show"
Saving Willow from having her neck broken in "The Pack"
Season 2:
Xander stopped Jack from blowing up the school. (And Buffy, Faith and Giles, etc, with it) in "The Zeppo".
Here's a message from Buffy to the Xander haters : https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/d40859c8-ad35-48bd-abf0-fb52cc9ee3c4
Willow and Buffy are Xander's best friend.
If you dislike Xander and call him a harsh and mean character then essentially you're calling into question the intelligence and judgement of Buffy and Willow.
Xander has done absolutely nothing to be disliked, especially since all of the other characters are murderers.
Not really. If you ask me, the reference is rather dated.
Nope. Not angry at all. Just sick to death of people saying that they dislike one of the main characters. Even though he helped to save the lives of every single other character, plus the small incident of saving the world.
Yeah. Get to the end of season 3 and come back to me. Let's just say Faith had her way with him.
If you're going to judge values and morals then you must judge everyone. You can't call out Xander for saying something rude and yet ignore the numerous times Cordelia called Buffy a freak or treated Willow and Xander like shit on her shoes.
Are you sure you're on season 3? The speedo scene was season 2, episode "Go Fish".
You mean "Dead Man's party"? After Buffy came from from running away from home? Going a whole summer not letting her friends or mother know she was alive? Making her Mum worry for a whole summer? Making her friends and Watcher fight the undead by themselves?
You think Xander was harsh by saying that she was selfish? She got let off lightly.
OK. Let me make this crystal clear, Xander is as important as Willow and Buffy. All three are a unit. And I'll reiterate it, if you dislike Xander, you want the big bad to win.
Joss created all of the characters. People think that Xander cheated on Kai Cole (Joss's ex wife), so there are some people who can't separate fact and fiction.
No. That's where you're wrong. I love Buffy, Xander, Willow, Giles all equally. I don't love any of them more than the other.
You dislike Xander because you think he was harsh with Buffy? How about when the others were harsh with the others? Why single put Xander?
No. You posted a provocative post as you sensed that the Zeitgeist was very much anti-Xander.
No. You're wrong. There is one opinion that matters, and that's Buffy's.
End of days" - S07E21
Buffy:
"You're my strength, Xander. You're the reason I made it this far. I trust you with my life."
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"Stan"? Cool reference from a song from 23 years ago. Very pop-culture. Care to mention the Fonz jumping the shark in the 80s?
Angry? Not really.
Xander is harsh and rude to his friends? Examples, please.
He sexualizes every girl he meets? What what when Cordelia called Angel "Salty goodness" the first time he she sees him?
How about Cordelia drooling over Xander when he's wearing only speedos?
Do you not remember Faith forcing herself onto him? Anya, too.
No. Joss and Xander are completely different. Xander is a hero. Joss is a chickenshit.
Oh. There are tons of people who like him.
Without him, there literally wouldn't be a second season. He saved the lives of Slayer and Watcher. So if you dislike Xander, then you are a gain Buffy.