This is more of just me putting out my thoughts so if it is a bit jumbled my bad. So I (21 M) am tired of the standard dating formula. It seems with dating apps there is always this hidden expectation of hooking up whether it is explicit or not it is always there. I can only speak for myself I feel like I am decently talking to a person whether it is over hinge, bumble, or tinder and things are going well we are having the new experience of talking and getting to know a person which is always fun if the person isn't an asshole. But then there is scheduling to meetup and of course it varies from person to person whether it is just having a cup of coffee or watching a movie or whatever. But at least for me after that initial meeting whether y'all end up hooking up or never talking again after initially meeting the conversations just slowly start dying unless one party is putting a lot of effort it's more likely or not things are just going to end. I mean I know what y'all are gonna say that's just dating but for me personally it's just getting so exhausting going through that same cycle over and over again.

I'm no saint either. I think there are times where I feel like I can't see myself with this person either whether it is due to compatibility or after the meet up I also feel like I also lose interest. Maybe it's just the thrill of meeting someone new who you find physically attractive and you find them physically attractive but that quickly loses it's warranty.

I think my conclusion is that after going through this cycle so many times even on this subreddit. I think I just want to be interested in someone I see as a deeply close friend. Not someone who I'm asking their favorite color or favorite food every other conversation just for a lackluster meeting that doesn't mean anything. I want a friend who I can be genuinely honest with, tell them about my insecurities, my lame puns, and the fact that my stocks are plummeting (lmao).

But that's a lot to ask for. Taking the time to care for a person, their problem, and getting to know their personalities well is a time commitment that people can't devote to especially in the relationship department.

In conclusion, I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about maybe this is a letter to my future SO. Let's be friends to see where things go, if we don't click romantically that's cool at least I have a kickass friend. If not well that's life and I hope we all find some form of happiness.

Stay safe y'all and feel free to send a message if y'all relate.