Have reached the awkward conclusion that I actually hate a good 75% of the population.

Children: Noisy, overindulged little bastards. No, they are not cute and I don't want to see 1000 Facebook notifications about the hilarious video of your toddler who's coveted themselves in their own shit for the millionth time.

Teenagers: Whoever invented those portable music speakers belongs in the same circle of hell as the inventor of the atom bomb. WHY do you feel the need to make everyone in a 1 mile radius listen to your appalling music? I realise that those little wireless earbud things look like you are wearing tampons in your ears but there are alternatives.

Students: literally have been having fantasies of committing acts of violence against the 400 students in the student building which is 10 metres from my window. Wondering exactly what sort of penalty I'd be looking at for chucking a few molotov cocktails. It would probably be quieter in prison. Of course as I'm British, I don't say a word and let my polish neighbours shout at them instead.

Young adults: actually, most seem ok. Of course my interactions are limited to the Ocado delivery men, but they are always nice and polite.

Older adults: Rudest subsection of society in my experience. See the door opening thread, oh how I identified. I was in hospital recently on a respiratory ward and the woman in the bed next to me (aged 82) had demanded she have one of the super comfortable chairs reserved for chemo patients, refused to wash, told me how awful her sheltered accommodation was (apparently the people weren't friendly, ha!) claimed that the doctors were ignoring her and denying her care (she was in heart and kidney failure, not much they could do) and one memorable night she punched another patient who had dementia because she had sat on her (unoccupied) bed. Patient with dementia collapsed at the foot of my bed, stopped breathing and they tried to resuscitate her for nearly 2 hours. Don't know what happened to her.

I'm 35. Think I'm going to just give up on people now and get myself a pack of dogs.