To sum this up:

My old friend I’ve kept in touch with off and on over the years randomly asked me to be a bridesmaid. This shocked me because: 1. She is passionately against marriage, and even more so against weddings. She’s doing this because she’s seeing her friends go through the process and it is “not fair that her other friends get so much love and attention when she’s in a relationship too for even longer than most of them.” Her words.

1. We are not close. She picked me over family members and lifelong friends. I’m flattered, but confused.

2. This is somehow costing the bridal party almost the cost of the whole wedding because she’s cutting corners in all the wrong places, and splurging on shit that doesn’t matter.

I just don’t understand any of it. She told me she saw all our old friends getting married and having weddings and she decided she wants one too. She is in crippling debt right now, barely staying afloat, has been dating her fh for almost a decade and woke up one day and told him he had two months to propose. Her words. She brags about this often.

She picks an expensive as hell city to get married in. Throws a fit her parents won’t pay because they’re blindsided and now have to travel with all her elderly family. Decided to do it anyway and sink herself further into debt. Sad part is she can’t plan anything right and is somehow spending over $15k on a backyard wedding of 75 people with no photography, cake, DJ or flowers.

She gets a $50 dress on goodwill. Demands BM purchase $200 shipping dresses. I explained this illogic here and she said “I’m spending xx on this wedding you can deal with it.”

Demands we get our hair done at a salon. She’s doing her own.

Picks $300/night hotel block. After we book, find out she’s staying at a $90 hotel a little ways away.

Destination wedding where zero lodging, transportation or even rehearsal dinner food or anything is provided (I get that’s normal things guests should pay for themselves, but with everything else, it’s the icing on the cake. Or non cake, because there is none. I realize that was petty, I’m annoyed).

She is now asking us to come early and stay late for the setup and takedown/cleanup.

She is furious no one through her a bachelor trip or bridal shower like “all her other friends got” (still don’t know who she’s referring to.

Constantly makes jokes about how she wants to call off the wedding because her and her FH are on awful terms.

This is not normal right? Am I being selfish here?

I’ve already decided we’re going out separate ways after this wedding. We were never close but now I really know she’s not who I thought she was. After speaking to a close friend of hers, she apparently picked me to make another girl jealous. This is all terribly confusing/absurd to me. And I’m pissed at myself I didn’t decline the offer in the first place. I was caught off guard, thought it would be simple and fun because she wanted a tiny, cheap, low key wedding and now ($2,000 later) I’m too deep in.

Just wanted to vent ugh.