I wanted to provide an update to my OP, where I asked what to do about my bridezilla of a friend: https://www.reddit.com/r/bridezillas/comments/a8odyd/did_the_work_of_a_bridesmaid_but_not_invited_to/

First of all, thank you to everyone who took the time to provide perspective and advice. I really took all of your comments to heart and spent a lot of time thinking about the whole ordeal, which is why I waited so long to update.

There was one comment that really resonated with me— I forget who said it— but the gist of it was “if you try to bring this up with her she’ll manipulate the situation until YOU end up apologizing to HER.” My stomach sank when I read that, because that has absolutely happened with her when we’ve had smaller conflicts in the past.

The situation made me realize that she’s not a very good friend to me, and I’m thinking I should take the opportunity to pull back on the friendship. Rather than having an explosive conflict where she ends up making me apologize, I’d rather just let her settle into married life and hopefully use that as an excuse to grow apart.

I am by nature a fixer/people-pleaser and one of my goals for 2019 is to work on that. If anyone reading this has had any luck stepping away from those tendencies, I’d be more than glad to hear what worked for you!

Sorry this is kind of a boring update. I wish I had something more exciting to say, since I got such a great response to my OP.