Angry rant!

I'm so sick of this. My son is 13 months. Not 13 years old. He is a BABY. It's not gross or sexual in ANY WAY. I can tell people that it's recommended by the AAP and CDC to nurse for ATLEAST TWO YEARS until I'm blue in the face. That there are still benefits for baby AND me until we choose to stop. The people in my life are so stuck in their ways though.

I've TRIED to wean. It's. Not. Working. For. Us. I swear my son literally holds a grudge against me all day when I've tried to drop the morning nurse. He will refuse to eat and scream at me all day. Nursing helps calm his tantrums, it helps him fall asleep, it makes me life easier. Yeah there are days where I do not want to be touched at all. Those days are so damn hard to nurse and I just want to quit. But I'd rather be touched out than listen to the screaming. I can't mentally fo the screaming and crying. It triggers my PPR and PPA so bad.

He will go to sleep and eat for other people JUST FINE when I'm not around so it's not like us still nursing is causing some type of disturbance for others. I have even started isolating us off in an empty room to nurse if we are around family because I'm tired of people making me feel ashamed for taking care of my son.

My MIL is really my only "support" and I'm so tired of her making shitty comments about me nursing my son. "I didn't nurse past 6m for my boys" "he doesn't need a boob." "Let me take you to nap, you don't need that." Or the judgemental looks she gives me when I do nurse. Or the conversations where she says nursing past whatever age is weird right next to me when I'm the only one in the room extended nursing. Ma'am this is the SAME tit and same baby you saw last year.

This is already hard. Being a mom is hard. Nursing is HARD. Each stage or nursing has different challenges. I don't need to be shamed and talked down to just because I'm making a different decision than another mom. I worked fucking hard to be where I'm at. This shit doesn't come easy to everyone.

I dealt with 7 weeks of cracked, bleeding, and bruised nipples. I've dealt with biting, nursing non stop all night, Swollen boobs, drive by boobie, hitting, pinching, being touched out, feeling alone because I'm the only one my baby finds comfort in because he refuses a bottle. I'm tired of people making me feel like I should be ashamed rather than proud of all my hard work the last 13 months. I'm tired of people making me feel ashamed because I'm "able" to nurse. I worked for this it did not come easy.

I just want to feel supported in my decisions to nurse until my SON is ready.

Edit: Thank you guys so much for the support❤️ it has really made me feel so much better! I honestly think I'm going to set a new goal of nursing until he is 2 just to spite our families. If he self-weans before, great! If not I know my fiance and i have a honeymoon planned next year and a week away from my son might end our journey. I'm 100% Okay with that. My fiance is 100% supportive of me. I honestly just told him about her comments and he was pretty upset and said if she says anything unfront of him that he will say something to her.

I know that since I'm the first person to BF past 6 months that I'm setting a new precedent for the family. I already don't have their support so I shouldn't expect it now. I'm just going to try to have the mindset that I'm the pioneer of the family and I'll get to be the supportive big sis to any other woman who decided to breastfeed going forward. I'm doing it alone so women in our family in the future don't have to.