Chemo sucks, there's no two ways about it. I had just gone through my first of six TCHP treatments and I'm already wondering if I can make it past the second.

But it's also dark magic. Last night I tried to feel for my lump (it was pretty big) and nothing. Flat. The only thing that marked the area was the biopsy needle mark that just wouldn't heal. I couldn't believe how radical one treatment was.

So yeah, I'm grateful to chemo for helping me kick cancer's ass. But everything else? Sucks. I've had weight issues from childhood to now (so many "eat a fucking cheeseburger!!" or little reminders to eat because "that's what normal people do.") and being able to feel hunger again from the steroids was so good. I ate like a champ the first few days after infusion.

Now everything tastes bitter and chemically icky and I cannot get anything past my throat. Yet I still feel hungry. So hungry. Augggghhhh.

So yeah thanks chemo for helping me out but also, fuck you for doing this to me.