Got diagnosed was told my cancer is small and should be able to do lumpectomy but got a positive genetic mutation and switched to dmx with reconstruction. Was then told I probably wouldn’t need radiation since my lymph nodes from biopsy and mri looked negative.

Surgical pathology came back positive for cancer in on lymph node. Now I have to do radiation.

Breast surgeon told me since my cancer is small most likely the oncologist wouldn’t recommend chemo but when I spoke with her she said since my ki67 score was very high most likely I will need it.

Was told by plastic surgeon I wouldn’t probably be able to do a implant swap a month or two after mastectomy. But now with needing radiation and increased odds of capsular contracture it doesn’t look like that will happen.

I feel so defeated and like I have gone through so many ups and downs. I am under 40 and feel like I’m slowly dying inside. I try to be positive but I feel like I just keep getting knocked down.

When will this be over? When will I stop feeling like I am being tugged around. Like my life is no longer in my hands. I’m so tired and my journey has not even begun. Please help me. Tell me your encouraging words to help me get through this. I can’t help but just cry in this moment.