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The husband and I haven’t had sex since my double mastectomy on 4/19…meaning it’s been about 2 months which is the longest we’ve gone in our relationship (we’re still newlyweds if that makes a difference!). I went from healing after the mastectomy straight into IVF egg retrieval where they tell you to abstain since you’re incredibly fertile, to healing from the egg retrieval, to one of the worst periods of my life and then right into chemo 🫠
We’re in our early/mid thirties and this is uncharted territory for us. I feel so incredibly unsexy with my expanders….I will have them until October. There are still big scars under my breasts and very obvious rippling/lumpy outlines from the expanders (had my final saline fill just before chemo). And I’ve just started to feel better after my first round of chemo…so I’m finally feeling ready to make some moves if ya know what I mean. But there is now a lot of pressure on both of us since it’s been so long AND I just don’t feel like myself since my breasts have been replaced with foobs. On top of that, I’m due to start losing hair next week.
He’s told me he so nervous to accidentally hurt me and doesn’t want to pressure me if I’m not feeling well so he would prefer if I initiate, which does not help me feel confident but I understand where he’s coming from. We have done other fun “things” since the mastectomy, just not the main event.
How do you ladies stay feeling sexy during this terribly unsexy time?! Any tips for the first time back in the sack after a medically induced hiatus?
I’m glad it was helpful! I kept going back & forth wondering if (even for an anonymous app) this would be too personal 😅 but then I figured if I’m going through it, I bet lots of other ladies can relate too.
That is so sweet 🥹 my husband has also been very reassuring that bald is not an issue for him haha
Also scared of the hormone blocker side effects…I just started taking Lupron & will start Tamoxifen in the fall!
Thanks for the suggestion! I forgot to add I’m on Lupron during chemo and will be starting Tamoxifen in the fall so that’s another huge piece of this puzzle.
Thank you so much for this response. I’ve moments here and there (looking at old pics) but I don’t think I’ve taken the time to actually sit and think about mourning my pre cancer body. I feel that could be very helpful to get out of my system!
What a great idea to have a celebration on your 1 yr anniversary. We did a very small “micro wedding” with 25 of our closest friends and family and it was pretty perfect. I do wish we didn’t have cancer hanging over our heads at the event though, maybe we’ll do a cheerier celebration for our 1 yr anniversary too ☺️
Congrats on the marriage! Dealing with cancer as a newlywed was never on my bingo card…I’m sure it wasn’t on yours either. It is nice having a honeymoon to look forward to at least. We’re planning ours for Jan or Feb of 2025 so there’s lots of time to plan!
Oh I’ll be joining that community! Can use all the tips and tricks I can get. Appreciate it ☺️
That is such a beautiful story, thank you for sharing! I feel that this has aged me quite a bit too and I’ve gained some weight myself. I think my biggest issue is being in my own head, but your partner sounds incredible & my husband is similarly sweet & supportive. That’s a huge win and should make this process a bit easier which is a silver lining!
I’m hoping that part of me will come back once I’m fully healed & have the permanent, less lumpy looking implants in! But honestly it’s so hard to know. It sounds like from these comments it’s an adjustment but we’ll figure it out 🤞
It is legal here and I’m a huge fan of gummies! Although I haven’t got my medical card yet…I need to get on that. Less expensive that way!
Taking expectations out of it seems to be a common response, thank you!
The wedding markup is real…and SO frustrating!
Wow I just checked them out…what an amazing and thoughtful company 🥹 I’m so glad they exist! I didn’t realize how much I needed something like that. Just to see ladies that have been through the same shit rocking some nice bras. Thank you!
Holy shit I was about to say that’s not a thing where I’m from, the people would revolt, but then I looked it up and it is!! What a backwards world where you can drink a 12 pack and be considered a legally responsible firearms owner but can’t have a MEDICAL cannabis card.
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😂 a mild jostle sounds lovely, and like way less pressure. Love this idea!