I just need to vent as this is probably just the anxiety of my surgery coming up on the 26th. I feel like I am letting everyone down. I have such a supportive family, but I have no energy during this holiday season. Not sure whether it is from the cancer itself or the stress of the whole thing, but my house is a dump and my art orders are slipping through the cracks. I’m especially aware of how my husband is trying to not be upset over how little sex is happening over here. We had a more than healthy sex life before this, and between the cancer and me also being perimenopausal, I can’t even fake being interested. This is all guilt I am putting onto myself, but now I have concerns that with the future treatments and tamoxifen I will never, ever feel like my feminine sexy self again. I just want to be clear that my husband isn’t giving me guilt about this at all. It’s just one of those “I am not taking care of my family members properly” kind of guilt that happens during this crap. I am so lucky to know I will ultimately be ok a year from now, but i’m aware it will be a new kind of normal and I don’t know what that looks like yet.