I hope this is okay to post. I haven't posted on reddit in a long time since I've been afraid of being judged, but there's no fear of any details getting out to the opposing party, since I already lost custody of my kids. I don't have a family anymore. I've been looking into silicone dolls since it probably wouldn't be smart to try and fake breastfeed a plush doll. I've been hand squeezing my nipples every day for the hope of...something. (It's been at the point where electric pumps haven't been working for a while.)

I see a mixed race Asian baby doll on Mercari, but I don't know how I can justify that amount of money for something I'm not sure would help. I've just been strong for too long.