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You shouldn't have to beg for basic care and compassion. You shouldn't have to deal with verbal and emotional abuse. You shouldn't have to convince your husband to be nice to you. You shouldn't have to figure out how to convince him to pull his fair share of caring for shared kids or household tasks.
You're already doing everything on your own. You might as well ditch the man who's causing more pain than he's worth. Life is easier without the resentment and disappointment.
You deserve peace. You deserve safety. You deserve love. You deserve support. You deserve to be happy.
Dump your shitty husbands.
Never married, but I dumped my daughter's dad for being a shitty partner in a number of ways. The other day, I was doing the dinner dishes and then took out the trash, which were two of the chores he was tasked with when he lived here. He was notorious for leaving both out for days before actually doing them, and would get pissy when I got frustrated over not being able to make dinner in such a nasty kitchen.
Took me about 10 minutes to take care of the dishes, then about 2 to deal with the trash. Then I briefly wondered why I wasn't worth (in his eyes) 12 minutes of daily effort. I was the primary breadwinner, primary parent, made sure all the bills got paid, and did more than my fair share of chores. And he couldn't manage to clean some dishes and remove some trash in a timely fashion. Fucking BYE then, dude.
That was just the tip of the iceberg with our shit-show of a relationship, but what a relief it was when I decided I'd had enough. And incidentally, my place stays a lot more orderly now!
He literally watched me cry over the fact he didn't deem this worth his effort & still didn't change. That was the universe teaching me that no matter what you do, you simply cannot make someone give a shit.
Exactly. I lost track of the number of times I broke down in front of my ex, begging for him to be an equal partner. Between his laziness, his disinterest in being an involved father, and all the fucking lies he told me over the years, I had a light-bulb moment last summer when I was like "Oh wait, I actually DON'T have to tolerate this until one of us dies."
We did have to ride out the lease until this past May, but then he moved 70 miles away to be with his new girlfriend and now sees our kid every other weekend. And go figure, my workload hasn't really changed that much with him gone. Some things are easier, actually.
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I feel this so hard. Your entire comment, really. Glad we both got out!!