Our marriage has never been great. But I'm loyal, and i figure out how to make the most of my station in life. I'm 24 and I have 2 kids, (4 yo and 1.5 yr) and I'm almost 5 1/2 months pregnant. A month or two ago, my husband approached me saying he was unhappy and its irreconcilable differences and he can't be a part of my life anymore or love me the way I should be. Fine. Great. Whatever. I'm over the desperate sadness. And now I'm angry. He's fucking delusional if he thinks splitting up is going to solve anything, any of his patterns, he's going to have to change eventually.

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I'm also a SAHM so I'm scrambling to get my shit together to get trained up for a work-from-home business as a virtual assistant, and I have a good grasp of it, and I'm confident in my ability to provide, maybe I'll get a sugar daddy too, who knows lol (jk). He's going to be covering rent for the next year and continue to pay the car payment since he's the one who insisted on the $33,000 car and he's very adamant about making sure the kids and I are comfortable, because he feels like shit about all this (no sympathy). Anyway, so I manage our finances and he told me to continue to save up as much money as I need to be comfortable and have a cushion for whatever.

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There's a lot I'm looking forward to, maybe finding someone who fits better with me, interacts well with my kids, has some kind of discipline when it comes to finances and meeting life goals. I know I'll honestly probably get further myself with my own income and child support than we do together with his 6-figure income because he's frivolous as fuck.

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What I'm struggling with is the kids are ON ME 24/7. The 1.5 year old is still nursing, including pacifying through the night, and when we're home and I'm sitting down trying to do anything on my computer she just is completely insistent, and is a complete milk monster. If I didn't work from home, literally all the child support would go to daycare for the 3 kids. My poor 4 year old has been so plugged into electronics like the whole day because I just don't have the bandwidth. I'm mourning my life with them as we know it, and I feel like I'm losing them which kills me the most, and jjust keeps breaking my heart over again.

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EDIT: He travels for work so is gone for weeks at a time and will be staying in a shitty company camper trailer when he's in town probably, so sharing time with the kids is like virtually non-existent which is overwhelming that I'm barely going to get a chance to breathe.