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I just found this sub. So this is my first post here. And if I may, I’d like to vent.
My back story is I’m married with two kids (14 and 9 months). My husband had a stroke some months ago leaving him mostly blind. I struggle with various mental issues from losing my parents by the time I was 14.
As of late, I’m just really burnt out. I take care of everyone by myself. A baby is enough work in and of itself. But then there’s also a lot that goes into caring for my husband. But my 14 year old is literally sometimes the hardest to take care of. They don’t help, they complain, and their hand is always out.
On top of taking care of the people that I take care of in my house, I look out for my two little brothers who are in and out of jail a lot. They lost the same parents I did and I been taking care of them since I was 13. And if that’s not enough, I drive a city over to bring my grandmother food because she refuses to eat what’s at my aunts house.
I wake up every morning and force myself out of bed to just do the bare minimum lately. I broke down today already because I really can’t keep taking care of all these people by myself. I’ve already been to the hospital once this year for a suicide attempt because everything was too much. I fear I’m headed there again.
I don’t get breaks because even if someone takes the baby for a few hours, I’m left with the 14 year old that tends to be more needy than the baby. And of course hubby, who can’t do much for himself. This is not where I imagined I would be at 32. I wish my husband wasn’t sick cuz he always helped. Now that he can’t, I just feel alone.
I don’t even know what to do but keep going thru the motions. I’m not opposed to advice or anything. I kinda just needed to get this out my head cuz it’s bogging me down.
First, I'm sorry you are being pulled in so many directions. It's no wonder you are so clearly exhausted.
I don't know the first thing about raising teens (have a 6 year old). But assuming your 14 year old doesn't have any major health issues or concerns, I do know they must be more than capable of doing some tasks independently. I know I sometimes fall into the trap of "It's just easier to do it for them", but in the long run that's not good for anyone.
Your brothers are also adults. It's very unfortunate that their lives are so chaotic, but you can't solve all their problems for them. I'm the oldest of 3, so I completely understand wanting to be protective of your younger siblings. But please don't set yourself on fire to keep them warm.
As for grandma: I'd at minimum scale way back on her food deliveries. Her being a picky eater is also ultimately not your problem.
You're a person with needs too, and they aren't being met in your current situation. Tell the grown-ups to deal with their own problems, and focus on you, your husband, and kids. Easier said than done, I know. But it'll be worth it.
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