Hi. SAHM to a lovely 14m old. This vent is about my partner.

TL;DR: My relationship with my partner is deteriorating. I'm not without blame but I'm doing my best. I can't communicate with him, he yells and shuts down. What can I do? I'm really confused by his behaviour, but he is overall a good dad. My daughter and I have everything we need, so ultimately this is about those pesky things called feelings. Mainly ANGER and FRUSTRATION.

Details: I have PPD. I'm working on it. I know it's been a strain on my partner, so I'm trying to be understanding, but I'm SO FRUSTRATED.

He is a pretty normal dad. Works hard for us. Rarely helps with anything unless explicitly asked, and even then usually only after using his favorite line: "that's your job." Here's the thing: is he right?? I don't work enough for it to even be considered work. He pays the bills. I cook and care for baby, but could be better about cleaning (it's a big house, I'm inefficient, he doesn't clean up after himself, and my depression is a bitch.) He thinks I don't do enough and that I'm a freeloader. When I complain about needing time for myself, or more help in general, he usually replies: "well, should've taken your birth control." At times he does make an effort, but I never know if he's going to be sweet and supportive, or callous and critical. It's probably 20/80.

The biggest challenge is that we can't communicate anymore. He ignores me, is always on his phone. Acts irritated if I ask him to pay attention to us, to use his phone less, or to go out with us. If I ask enough times he will spend time with our daughter, which he loves to do (so I don't know why I have to push him to do it). When I do try to bring up anything to talk about, he yells. Talks over me. Then when he doesn't have anything left to say, tells me to leave him alone and that he doesn't want to talk. He doesn't listen. Says that I aggravate him, annoy him, complain too much, am too sad. Says I'm a burden on him and that if he had known I suffered from depression, he would've left me. And I understand this. It's not easy to deal with me. I am trying to get better. I've looked tirelessly for help, am still looking for help.

I've considered that the fact we haven't had sex in months might be the reason behind his increased anger/frustration. But we have opposite schedules and are both always tired, and I honestly don't feel attractive or attracted to him. I'm not discarding the idea because I'm slowly regaining my sex drive (maybe related to my depression?) but I'm afraid it won't make anything better. But hey, I guess there's nothing to lose at this point, right?

I'm looking for opinions and advice. I know some of his statements are valid. How can I make things better? CAN I even make things better? I know this is affecting my daughter negatively and I really need it to stop. Anyone else been through this? I mostly just needed to vent. I don't have any close friends, and the friends I do have are either not mothers, or friends with my partner. So I obviously can't vent freely to them.

Thanks, all.