Due to a series of events (renoviction, insanely high cost of living area, covid-related job loss on my part and my partner finding a new job elsewhere) I am moving away from my home of 30 years to a new city thousands of kilometers away and leaving my son with his father, whom I have shared custody with for his entire 12 years of life.

It's not supposed to be permanent- he's going to be joining us in the new city late July-early August. But the realization is hitting me like a fucking train. Not just moving to a new city where I know practically no one, jobless, during a pandemic, but that I will be apart from my wonderful, amazing child for many long months. I do not like that at all. I also do not like the thought of ripping him away from his school, friends, family, and most importantly his dad. I am seriously second guessing all of my decisions right now.

There's also the possibility that he will choose to move back and live with his dad. That thought is even harder to bear. Of course I would want him to be happy no matter what but the thought of missing him every day is sending me into a spiral. I've been crying all night long thinking of being deprived of his company. What am I going to do without my baby? How would I function as a mother in that scenario?

I'm just so scared of the future and so sad about everything. Please speak words of comfort to me if you can.